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#220382 - 04/25/08 10:23 AM Re: 1500 [Re: dark empathy]
king tut Offline

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
well done Roger, i think lots of people on this site would be in a much darker place if it wasnt for your support. I'm glad to see that you have set this target, i do worry about you sometimes, i worry that you are so busy helping everybody else that you dont pay youself enough attention. I must admit i cant stop smiling when i think of you smiling, its infectious, your so far away and i've never actually met you but the thought of you finding joy really makes me smile, and gives me hope
love you

"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.

#220384 - 04/25/08 10:24 AM Re: 1500 [Re: ineffable]
hogan_dawg Offline

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
For me, the self deprecating remarks come from not wanting to sound like an arrogant asshole like my perpetrator, and getting in a row with someone who might call me on my assholishness. So it's fear based I suppose, for me. I still do it when I don't need to do it.

I'll revisit the idea given what you've said and maybe look into how I'm really putting myself down when I do it. Like a habit.

Well, that's just me I suppose. IMHO. I'm sorry. Never mind. Go on with your talk...


Edited by hogan_dawg (04/25/08 10:47 AM)
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

#220389 - 04/25/08 10:51 AM Re: 1500 [Re: ineffable]
KENKEN Offline

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762

Congrats to you. I do consider you a friend. You have helped me get over some tough hurdles in my life. I'm glad we met and shared a room at WoR.

You are a good man and a good father. Proud of you. Your should also be proud of yourself.



From the Movie: Antwone Fisher


#220398 - 04/25/08 11:43 AM Re: 1500 [Re: KENKEN]
mogigo Offline

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Lots of love Roger, you have been a wonderful help to me.

Little Roger never needed to be forgiven, he never did anything wrong, he was just a child and he came through it all amazingly. What wonderfully strong little boy he is, and what a wonderful man he has become.

Stay strong my friend


#220399 - 04/25/08 11:45 AM Re: 1500 [Re: ineffable]
AndyJB2005 Offline

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Good job, Roger. Boy, you're fast. \:\)

Good goods to set. \:\)

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

#220400 - 04/25/08 12:00 PM Re: 1500 [Re: AndyJB2005]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2591
Rock On Roger!


You're doing great stuff here, helping many, and in turn getting help, being helped, and helping yourself!

Then again, I could just be full of ____!


Love ya man.

#220401 - 04/25/08 12:07 PM Re: 1500 [Re: ineffable]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi Roger,

Thanks for your contributions and encouragement thus far to all here at MS. You're an example of how we can all help each other, while working on our own issues at the same time.

I would, however, like to comment on this in your post:


I will forgive little roger and refuse to blame him anymore.

I hope you can see that Little Roger does not need to be forgiven, for he is guilty of nothing. An innocent child. He was just trying to survive as best he knew how, given the tools he had at his disposal. That's all any of us were doing. Little Roger was a great kid.


#220477 - 04/25/08 04:29 PM Re: 1500 [Re: EGL]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
I understand Eddie and Mike about little Roger, now anyway. For a long time I blamed him for not stopping what was happening. I was wrong. You are absolutely correct he was not to blame and did nothing wrong. I realize that now. I said I forgave him more for me than for him. He never needed it. We are good friends now and to make up I bought him a blankie and another teddy bear which we sleep with now. We are at peace at last on several levels. I think the hardest part was not forgiving my father but was forgiving myself. That was a surprise to me but looking back I should have seen it coming.

Thanks to all for you kind words. I appreciate it so much and Scott you are not full of s__t. LOL

#220522 - 04/25/08 06:54 PM Re: 1500 [Re: Freedom49]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Hey, well done! I'm glad you decided to commemorate this one. Here's something to think about for the next 1500:

Originally Posted By: Freedom49
I am a good boy and a good man and a good father.

So why am I crying? Maybe for joy at last?

Yes, for joy I'm sure. And probably also for realizing the truth of something you may have denied for too long? The truth that there was never anything wrong with you? That it was never you, but the abuse that was messed up and wrong?

I hope your progress by no. 3000 is just as positive and uplifting.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#220535 - 04/25/08 07:29 PM Re: 1500 [Re: roadrunner]
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Cheers to you El-Roger
you are all those things and more. forgot a good friend ;\)
..3000 heck thats just around the corner \:D

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
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