I know the feeling. I know this isn't fair to my wife. She told me that she felt I entered our relationship deceitfully, with a "lie of omission." I'm not exactly proud that she feels that way.
At least before I disclosed my history to her and began working on it, I was sometimes, um, "marginally functional." I would be zoned out mentally, but I still continued on auto-pilot. Now I can't even do that much.
I'm getting dizzy and light headed just writing this. This is one of those times I want that damn magic pill!
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse