Agreed 100% Andrei!
I'm not a violent person by nature, although the anger I have pushes me to aggression many times. I agree with you that not wanting to be violent doesn't mean that "things weren't so bad." I think that's a terrible thing to say to anyone who's been abused, and if the person who made that statement to you reads this, tough, I'll say it again, not wanting to kill or maim someone for what they did doesn't mean the experience wasn't horrible and hurtful, and suggesting such is terrible thing!!!
I will admit that there are times when in my anger my first reaction is "hang em from the nearest tree!!", but once that anger dies down the rational part of me realizes that there are underlying reasons for why people do what they do, not that I'm excusing it mind you, wrong is wrong, but I don't believe that there are unredeemable people. In the end, people, by virtue of their own choices determine whether or not they can be redeemed. Can they admit they did wrong and repent of it? Or do they harden their hearts and continue doing the same things as before? When faced with the stench of their own wrong doings, how do they respond? That is the determining factor in my eyes as to who is and isn't redeemable. Some people are just so hard, so selfish, so evil and perverse, that they don't care who they hurt. That attitude, that choice to keep hurting is what keeps them from finding and taking the redemption that is only a breath away.
Not sure how I got here! It just flowed out I guess. My 2 cents, I know there are those who don't agree, but what's "good" for you, isn't what's good for me.