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#219486 - 04/21/08 11:58 AM To A
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298

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#219491 - 04/21/08 12:24 PM Re: To A [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I am so sorry for your loss ben. I grieve with you.


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#219492 - 04/21/08 12:25 PM Re: To A [Re: Freedom49]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
Sorry Roger

I just cant seem to get over this, even after all these years.

Ben


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#219497 - 04/21/08 12:43 PM Re: To A [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
You are feeling the emotions of little ben. Nothing wrong there. His feelings are valid. His loss is deep. Children feel things with much greater depth than adults do. Allow him to grieve. To cry. He will recover and you can help comfort him. The pain will subside once he feels his feelinga are validated and honored. You are a good man. He has trusted you with his feeings. Comfort him and don't fight it. It will get better. The memory will stay but it won't have the teeth it does now. Be strong my friend Ben.


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#219510 - 04/21/08 02:47 PM Re: To A [Re: Freedom49]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ben,

I'll just agree with Roger and say that it seems like you never allowed yourself to grieve over the loss. Grief is a healthy and essential way to process feelings of loss, and maybe now is the time.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#219516 - 04/21/08 03:28 PM Re: To A [Re: roadrunner]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
I agree with roger and you larry, but i cant find it in me to grieve, i want to but it scares me as i will have to accept he is gone, and i loved him and to grieve i have to let him go.

Ben


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#219522 - 04/21/08 03:55 PM Re: To A [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Ben, He is and always will be still there with you like he is now. In your memories, in your heart he is still there. His physicality may not be present but that has been the case for a very long time now. Nothing will change but you.


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#219598 - 04/21/08 11:25 PM Re: To A [Re: Freedom49]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
Ben

You now have an angel you know

Craig

_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#219606 - 04/22/08 01:03 AM Re: To A [Re: ineffable]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
Graig

I know and thankyou, i just wish it did not hurt so much.

Ben


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#219641 - 04/22/08 06:56 AM Re: To A [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ben,

Perhaps it will help to look at this and see that while he is gone in one sense, he is still with you in another and always will me. I regretted the death of two of my friends who didn't make it thanks to the abuser, and I grieved for them when I heard the news that they had died, and especially how they had died. But I still have my memories of us together as boys.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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