Perhaps it will help to look at this and see that while he is gone in one sense, he is still with you in another and always will me. I regretted the death of two of my friends who didn't make it thanks to the abuser, and I grieved for them when I heard the news that they had died, and especially how they had died. But I still have my memories of us together as boys.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)