fellow men:

let's not let MALESURVIVOR go bankrupt. i have been using this site for some years now and desparately want it to stay afloat. i am between jobs but i plan to send something small to help out. if this site/organization disappears i for one will GREATLY miss it. i know i cannot be the only one. please, let's all do our part. sincerely and respectfully,


bec

bec, we appreciate your thoughtfulness in starting this thread. No amount is to small and when it comes from a fellow survivor it means so much more.

I agree... a small donation is a big help to most organizations.

Here in the UK I am involved with Axis, a charity that provides therapy for survivors, and tonight I've been to the 10th anniversary party ( so please excuse any bad typing )

The founder of Axis is a remarkable woman, and tonight she gave a speech and recalled all the hard times when they started up.
They borrowed a room, begged some furniture and a carpet, scrounged an advertising space in the local paper and started helping survivors.
The therapists weren't paid for many years, and they're not paid the going rate now.
But Axis works. In ten years 3,000 survivors have been helped, and that's only a fraction of those abused people who are out there.

Working to help survivors isn't an easy task, Axis works in a small local area, MS is very big compared to that. But the problems are the same, it's only a matter of scale.
As survivors we aren't the most 'popular' charitable group on the block, the local dog pound probaly gets more donations, so we have to help ourselves. Well, not so much ourselves, but those that will surely follow us.

I KNOW how successful good therapy, help and support can be, believe me - six or seven years ago I wouldn't have the confidence to do what I do now.
Survivors CAN, AND DO, go on to live better lives.
I won't bullshit anyone and say there's a cure - there isn't. But we can learn to live with what we've got. Hell - we can benefit from it !
What makes us survivors is our inner strengths, and as we heal we use those strengths in different ways.
Survival is something we admire in others, someone who walks away from a disaster, or crawls off a mountain injured is a hero. Isn't that what we do ?

I think it is.

MS is a part of all our recoveries as well. I got most of my healing from therapy, and the support of my loving wife and a few good friends.
But in the dark hours of a lonely night where did I go for my support - where can I still go ?

Male survivor is where.

Dave

I currently do not have financial support that I can offer... I do however have a few things that I could:

- Free enterprise web hosting
- domain, e-mail alias hosting
- 8 years professional web experience, and any help that may be needed

I realize that this organization is more than simply the website, but it would be one less thing to be concerned about. Who do I talk to, to see about this?

- Joe


Thanks Joe. I wanted everyone to know that we are in contact with Joe.

I dont have any ways to send money right now either. But I can stuff letter's and lick stamps and get to the post office. Things like that. Let me know if I can help this way.
James


Thank you. Your support of MS is important to us.

Hey bec (and all)

I have sort of watched and you have been doing better and better. Good for you, and good for us.

You know, when they started the two-tier member stuff, I guess it was intended as a funding method. I figured, OK, whatever. Not my trip. Conferences, newletters, mailing lists (and whatever else) just seemed like churn to me and did not make much sense.

But if they need just plain operating money to keep the site going . . . well, hey. Just ask. The check is in the mail.

--------------------

James and deej . . . don't worry. When you are "all better " things -- like your life, finances, relationships, on and on will be better, too.

Might not seem real, yet, but it will. I Promise.

For now, concentrate on getting yourself better.

That alone is some of the hardest and best work you can do for yourself and others.

After you are up and on your feet, you can help pull the freight, then. No big deal, it is just the way these things work.

I understand that 12 step programs sometimes consider that part of the 12th step. (don't ask about the 13th step. )

See you,

Sunshine

Count me in to help. I'll be sending in a small donation.

Jeff

NOMSV/Male Survivor was there for me when I needed support. Now that I'm stronger, it's my turn to support this worthy organization.

Dan/Seattletux

This site and he guys here have done so much for me. The check is on the way.

Thanks for all you do

Ken

My donation is on its way. I offer my assistance in any way or form needed. A friend and I have written to every diocese in the state of Maine asking for their help as well. About time they dig in the pockets a bit deeper to help an organization that has helped so many in their clerical abuse situations. I have personally seen what MS has done for me as well as for my best friend.............
Bob

Been thinking about what I can do to help. Maybe if the MS Board made printalbe flyer that I could down load and then hand out to anyone and everyone that would take it.....just a thought.
James

The check is in the (E)mail.

This site has done so much for me it's the least I could do. I encourage anyone who can spare a little (or a lot) to contribute to keeping this organization going.

Take good care of yourselves, guys, we're all in this together.

Steve

I will be using the email to send my donation.
I would be in a rough state without MS.

The Men of Male Survivor,

We will do it. I've never been more sure of anything in my life.......hell, I didn't even know if my wife would marry, me. I think that it was something like, "you will marry, won't you?"

So, we enter this fight with our shields held high.......
we engage this battle with our honor at stake.......
we fight for one another as no one has before....
"phalanx, men, so our younger brothers suffer no more."

Lead on Fred.................

--------------------
"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis)

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Posts: 309 | From: Portland OR | IP: Logged |

Over the last few days I've been thinking about the resources available to Survivors, especially Males.
And if you're like me I bet you've looked around as well ?

There's precious little out there for many of us.
Ok, I know MS. isn't the only Mens Survivor site, but I haven't seen a busier one, or ANY other site that deals with such complex problems in such a superb manner.

And for many Survivors MS.is their lifeline. I've been lucky enough to visit the USA. and Canada, where most users are from, and it's a big place,
where I live the sea is an hours drive east and west !
Therapists and Charities are available all over this small island.
The isolation of some parts of the North American continent mean that something like MS. is going to be the only regular healing resource for some guys.
Not to mention the source of friendship for some that are in remote places, or for some reasons are unable to mix with others freely.

And don't forget we sometimes reach out to English speakers from around the World, abuse knows no borders or boundaries. And there are many places out there where SA is a huge problem and still not acknowledged. "We are not alone"

And that's the most important thing a Survivor will ever hear, "We are not alone"

Most Survivors find us by surfing the 'net - type "male sexual abuse" into any search engine and see where MS. comes in ?
We're always towards the top of the list, and those above us are usually a different sort of site, so this is often where people come and read about Male SA for the very first time in their lives.
Have you ever noticed how many new names are shown at the head of our home page ?

Often those guys never make more than a brief appearence on the forums, sometimes they never post a thing, but they come and they read. They discover they are not alone.
And that can be enough strength and inspiration to go away and begin the sort of healing we know is possible.

So we can't let MS sink without trace, it would be a disaster for us, but for those guys that are surely following us it's unthinkable.

Dave

Guys:

Your response is really heartening, and Murray Schane, our Treasurer, tells me that donations have been coming in. Thank you all. I know you are doing it fo yourselves and for one another, but I want to tell you how important it is to us on the Board as well.

Keep telling people!

Richard Gartner
President
MaleSurvivor

Dr. Gartner:

I think that we are doing it for the collective we and you and MS being we as well.

More importantly I think that we all are doing it for those yet to find us and that flow will never cease.

What is the policy on seeking donations from the Public Sector both in the US and Canada. I know that MS has close ties to the FBI and other sources. I intend to hit up my Provincial Government as soon as they take Power.

As well I think that the collective we consider it an honour to be part of MS and all it stands for.

I just thought of something else. Has there ever been a thought to seeking corporate sponsorship for MS. I mean that if we represent 20% of the population (male) it affects virtually every company of any size in North Americal.

Guys,

How great you all are! Each of us knows what this place as meant to us, each has seen our growth and healing, each has touched another with our acceptance of each other - holding the door open to come out of the cold and lonely separation we grew up with - priceless love/amazing grace

I would be so lost with out you guys...
I could never give enough back - but I will start now with what I can afford, and will give more again as we approach the deadline.

Friends,

It is good to come back if only for a short visit. I have been so preoccupied with school full time and work full time that I have not had the time to spend on line.

Anyway, regarding the topic, I just finished setting the text of my survivor poem "The Prison Bard" to music. It is a choral setting for 8 part men's voices. I am beginning the process of finding a male chorus to perform it. The dedication reads: to all survivors of sexual abuse and assault and to NOMSV, the vanguard organization.

I am truly scraping the barrel to pay for school and cannot contribute at this point to the emergency fund. I do plan to renew my menbership next year. However, if any revenues are generated from future sales of the music or recordings of Prison Bard, I will donate all proceeds to MS as a living legacy as as long as it is alive and doing its good will. Not that it will make anyone rich, but I have so much for which to be grateful because of MS, it is me simply doing what I can with what I have. I no longer love and support it for what it can do for me, but for what I can do for it, and ultimately the never ending stream of survivors who come knocking at its doors.

Be well my dear comrades. You are always in the front of my thoughts.

Ron

Thank you, Ron. I would have liked to have met you at the conf in Minneapolis. Maybe in two years? Good luck on the project.
Ken

Ken how is it going so far. Should we contact companies for their support and stuff like that?

I wouldn't recommend folks start contacting corporations on their own. There is a science and art to fundraising. We have several board members with considerable fundraising experience. I believe Chuck Spence is the committee chair for raising money.

If you or any other members are interested in helping out, I suggest you contact Chuck through the website and offer your help.

Thanks,
Ken

Will mail donation. Perhaps some day will be in better position to assist.

leosha

I want to send $ but need to know how can Canadian supporters send $ ? Are we supposed to mail a cheque to the Canadian office? Do we send in Canadian or U.S. (will determine if we need to send a bank order or a personal cheque)?. Please advise.

PAS (partner of SA survivor)

Canadians may send there check(s) to our US address.

MaleSurvivor
PMB 103
5505 Connecticut Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20015-2601

Dear Mikey,

As Ken says, corporations should be approached by an official fundraiser. If anyone would like to assist Chuck Spence in fundraising, please contact him. Or, if you work for a corporation that is likely to be helpful, please let him know.

We have at times asked corporations for donations, but for the most part this has not yielded results. Nor have grant applicatons been successful thus far.

Canadian donations can be made out either in Canadian or US dollars, though it is probably easier on this end if it is in US currency.

Richard Gartner

Well the 'thermometer' on the home page is now reading $5,000 - which, if my sums are right, is a third of the way there.

That's the sort of response that shows we are serious about keeping Male Survivor alive.

Dave

Hi. I know its bin a long time since i've posted but i just thought i'd swing by and see what bin going on.
I've bin woking really hard in therapy and its really starting to pay off.
Sorry about not showing my face around here lately but coming here is, to me, some what depressing because its like nerve evoking and pain/guilt inducing because i re-live the sh*t by contantly read and thionk about it causing me to obsess over past memories.
this gets me low and i have trouble fighting it.----sorry if that was over redundent.

Anyway I hope evey one is well and doing OK.

The reason i posted is that i'm in a position to help finacialy but i was wondering if I made a donation could that be applied to a membership as well; or vice versa,--if i paid for a membership would the proceeds contribute to the MALESURVIVOR web site?


I'll try to update yu guys on what i've been up to and my future plans, i'm getting ready to move in December.

well, take care of yur selfs,yur worth it!
-Logan

Logan
It's so good to hear from someone who's passed through MS and gained something from it, I do hope your recovery continues, I'm sure it will.

Your donation in any form will be welcome,and I don't think it makes much difference as to which way you do it, although there will be less administration costs by making a donation I would think.

Dave

How are things going with all of this. I see the donation graph hasn't moved up to much lately. Just curious.

Don

I'd like to hear an update, too, if possible.

The Office of Personnel Management coordinates a single charity "pledge drive" period for US of A federal goverment employees. To qualify in the Combined Federal Campaign a charity organization must complete an OPM application early in the calendar year. (The employees are deciding right now whether to give in 2004 and to whom.)

The application process which selected the charities in the current catalog is described on the OPM web site . The schedule for the 2004 pledge cycle, for donations during calendar year 2005, is also online here . OPM will begin accepting applications to receive CY2005 donations in a few weeks, and their application deadline is February 2, 2004. I did not see the new application forms online, but they have an email address, cfc@opm.gov, for questions.

Legalese from the web site states It may be down the road a bit, but I believe we'll get to 2005 and will still be willing to accept donations. I was once a government employee and I volunteered to coordinate the program several times, once for an entire division. I have seen a lot of generosity on the part of employees who chose to make donations through this program. I think we should get MaleSurvivor in line for some of those donations.

Thanks,

Joe

I mailed out donation few days ago. I am sorry I can not give more, can not give what this site gives to me.

leosha

Thanks to all who have contributed. No amount is too small!

Logan, certainly you should join us -- the dues money wouldn't be counted in the drive funds but it would still go into our coffers, and we'd rather have you as a member.

Outis -- does a governement employe have to register us? or can anyone put us down?

Richard

I joined. That's the only way I can support right now, altho I will send more cash when I can.

I sounded unreasonable earlier. This site saved my life. Time for me to "pay it forward."

Peace, love, and loads of cash for the new year, brothers. We cannot let this site down!

Scot

Richard,

It does not have to be a government employee. Since the application form was not online when I last checked, I can't be certain who it should be. The application from last year is online, and it requires a contact person and a certifying individual, each from the applying organization. They require things like a copy of the most recent "IRS determination letter" (I know the IRS is determined! ), and IRS forms with signatures of the appropriate officer(s), not just of the preparer. The IRS forms are required for the application even if the IRS does not require them for a particular organization. Accounting! It's beyond my simple appreciation of math.

The schedule says they'll begin accepting applications Dec 1 for the catalog they'll distribute to employees in October 2004. Last year's application document is marked "Rev Dec 2002" so it may be that they won't release the new application until December.

I'm local to DC so I'll do some calling around and pass the information back to you.

Thanks,

Joe

Men, we have now passed $8,000

Thank you for your continued and generous support.

Awesome!!

Absolutely the best news I have heard in a long time.

.

Len
yes, we're short of some readies, the full story is on the home page somewhere.

But look at this - $8,000 already. WOW !

Dave

Dave, everyone,

I couldn't post then, but a few hours after you made this last post, the total was listed as over 9,700.

Right now it is $ 9,945. Nearly 2/3 of the way. Double WOW!

I am a student, but if I had a real job, I would pool a lot of what I had into this. It is a resource that one can't find anywhere else. Just finding this site, it would be a crime if it were shut down. It has helped me out a lot since I've used it starting out just this week. The help I've received from here has helped me even involuntarily, my attitude has changed positively. That is, I act like my natural self, with nothing being forced or putting on a face.

That is overwhelming and I am grateful to all who have contributed.

We have now passed the $10,000 level!

Thank you members, families and friends and guests.

Fred
that's such good news, and I don't care what anyone else says

Dave

I just found this website this week and posted for the first time a little of my story yesterday, so this does not mean as much to me as it obviously does to many of you. However, I've read two or three posts that been like a kick in the stomach. They have given insights I would never have considered but which I must explore on my own.

I am willing to give to keep this site open, but I do not see an address or a way to send a donation online by credit card. For those of you more familiar with the board, it is probably there in plain sight, but as a new member, I don't have a clue. Let me know how and I will send a little.

Brownie


,

Since our goal was $15,000 by the first of the year, I am sending another donation to help insure the survival of MS.

I urge all who have given before, to consider another donation.

Nothing in my life has given me so much in understanding and trusting community. This site is my life-line to this community.

...t