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#21876 - 09/19/04 02:58 AM acting out (poss triggers)
lee75 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/04
Posts: 37
Loc: utah
Ive done something stupid and now im looking at charges. 3dg felony, i just read the summons and im supposed to prebook at the jail. i have to go get my prints and pic's done. i fucking scared to death.
this is my weekend for my daughter and i dont have anyone to watch her while i go do this.
she can stay home by herself but, what happnes if they arreste me?
her mom lives about 1 hr away and i dont dare tell her whats going on.
i havent said anything to anyone except my sister in alaska.

she isnt around to talk to and i sooo want to act out...
i just want anything. drugs, alcohol, anything,
my body is screaming for some sort of realese. im freeking out and all i can do is hold it inside like i have always done. i have never not been able to deal with a problem. here is one that im sure i can deal with but not without something..... something .... anything.....
ive been kind a clean for a while. i dont drink, i dont smoke and im starting to not crave anysort of drug... id still like some....

i dont want to tell anyone about my leagle problems. i have been in so much trouble in my life. i have squeeked by somhow and have never finished probation with a felony. they always drop to a misdomener.

im finally doing super good, i can deal with my business and my life. i have good days and bad. i think they will even out once i get back on my meds,
i always think im doing good and i can quit my meds.
shitttttttt
i hate feeling this way.
i dont wnat to have to care at all.
im sick and tired of dealing with all this shit.

i just really want this to pass.
hell

_________________________
Lord, i hope this day is good. im feeling empty and misunderstood. i should be thankful, lord, i know i should, but lord, i hope this day is good. DON WILLIAMS

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#21877 - 09/19/04 03:52 AM Re: acting out (poss triggers)
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Lee,

I'm really not much one to know about legal matters so much, although I did get myself into some troubles last year, minor, thank God. But don't know much at all of it.

As for your daughter, can you arrange for another weekend? If there is any chance that you would not be there with her, perhaps that would be safest, and easier to explain then going to jail with your daughter at your home.

I can say the drugs and alcohol speaches, of how they do not help, only put off the problems and impair your dealing with them. But you are an adult, and will find and use whatever you need to cope. I just wish you luck and success in what you choose.

take good care of yourself.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#21878 - 09/19/04 09:07 AM Re: acting out (poss triggers)
Dan88 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/02
Posts: 247
Loc: DC
Ugh! I'm sorry to hear about the trouble you are in. It must be really weighing on you.

All I know to do in situations like that is just simply do the next right thing, one step at a time. Perhaps the place to start is to just cancel your visit with your daughter to clear that worry away.

Go easy on yourself.
Dan


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#21879 - 09/19/04 06:17 PM Re: acting out (poss triggers)
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Lee - You might want to talk things over in the At-Risk Forum. It is there for persons who have acted out and are in trouble or those thinking seriously about acting out. I PM'd the sources for entrance for you. If you need this - PM Ken Singer or Loyldy. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE AND PRESSURE YOU'RE UNDER!! You may FEEL like you need to act out BUTTTT realize feelings are feelings to be felt but NOT NECESSARILY acted upon...then they are no longer feelings but actions. Actions can get us in trouble - more trouble!! I know you can do this!!!

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#21880 - 09/19/04 07:29 PM Re: acting out (poss triggers)
lee75 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/04
Posts: 37
Loc: utah
howard,
thanks alot. i just clenched my my teeth and went. i had a ticket i didnt pay, so i had a warrant. but thank god i brought my credit card.
so im kind of ok now.
Tons better anyway!!!
now i just have to get through the leagle problems.
thanks for your support, i needed it.
im glad i have quit drinking. i now can see how it has caused quite a bit of trouble
lee

_________________________
Lord, i hope this day is good. im feeling empty and misunderstood. i should be thankful, lord, i know i should, but lord, i hope this day is good. DON WILLIAMS

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#21881 - 09/19/04 07:54 PM Re: acting out (poss triggers)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Lee
I think you've all the right things so far, from coming here for support to going to the police and paying the fine.

But things aren't good for you at the moment that's for sure.
Come here as often as you NEED to for support, when you get the urge to act out, and I know how strong that urge is I promise you, come here instead. There's usually someone online that will help.

Also you might find these contact numbers useful.
Some Survivors help groups have legal or para-legal people that might help, and understand your point of view. Which is important.
Obviously I don't know how good these organisations are because I live in the UK, but I have visited Colorado and know the people there are as friendly as they come, and willing to help.
Here's the contact numbers -
Dave.

Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA)

Please contact us directly if you have questions or call us at 303-861-7033 or toll free at 1-877-37-CCASA for those of you outside the Denver metro area.

http://www.ccasa.org/


Colorado SNAP Chapters

Denver, CO

Contact: Connie Ross
Phone: 303-550-9062
E-mail: snapdenver@yahoo.com
Snail Mail: SNAP, PO Box 11015, Boulder, CO 80301


Support Group Meetings: The 3rd Wednesday of each month; Call or send e-mail for information.


Boulder, CO

Contact: Marnie Williams
Phone: 303-550-9062
E-mail: marnie.williams@comcast.net
Snail Mail: SNAP, PO Box 11015, Boulder, CO 80301
News Story: Daily Camera

Contact: Jack Lavino, co-leader
Phone: 303-245-0552 & 720-313-5356
E-mail: jacklavino@comcast.net

SNAP Support Group Meetings: The 2nd and 4th Tuesday of each month; the 2nd Tuesday is an advocacy group. The 4th Tuesday is a support group. Call or send e-mail for information.

Vail, CO

Contact: Troy Gray
Phone: 970-376-2753
E-mail: vailsnap@comcast.net

SNAP Support Group Meetings: Held the third Monday of the month, from 7:00 - 9:00 p.m.

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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