I have recently found out that my younger Brother is addicted to cocaine. He is trying to come clean but things are difficult for him, as he was abused just like me.
I dont hate much.
I dont hate many.
I dont like to hate.
But I hate my grandfather for all that he took from me and my brother. I hate how we live with the consequences of his greed, of his desire. I hate my shame.
I dont let alot of people know that I am on MS becuase I am ashamed of what they might think of me.
When things like this come at me like my brother I just want to hurt my grandfather.
At times I have thought of getting a pistol and useing it to threaten him to scare the crap out of him, to hurt him like he hurt us.
But I know that it is to know avail.
Thats why I live with my anger. SOmetimes it comes out when I dont want it to, but it does.
Some day I hope it to not be that way.