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#218142 - 04/14/08 08:50 PM A Letter to My Son
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
NOTE: This has been posted for one of the younger members here at MS whom lost his Dad early-on in life. Though it was writen to my son (nick-named "Boo" for annonimity), I hope it conveys some good messages to any younger ones here who have lost their Dads. I'm not saying that my message is right or superior. This is just what I wrote for my own purpose should I depart this earth early on in his life. Please feel free to add your own thoughts and messages for this great young man at MS.

_______________________________________________
My Dear Son Boo,

If you are reading this now, I have met with an early departure from this earth. Since I cannot be present as you grow up into manhood, I am limited to what I can convey in this letter and through what I leave behind in good works and reputation.

First off Boo, know that I love you with all my heart. The day you were born was the most amazing day of my life. I held you that day and you spent your first night clung to me. The two of us never slept a wink that night. I felt as if our bonding was secured then and there. I could not believe God had sent us such a wonderful and beautiful gift.

Watching you grow through your first few years was like watching daily miracles of life and hope. A pure heart and mind led you to such amazing places. We read stories, explored the woods, you road on my shoulders and steered our direction via my ears. Every day that you came downstairs seeking to have breakfast with me I would melt inside. When you would call out “daddy” I’d nearly cry…sometimes I did cry. To think that I was your Dad…WOW…a role I truly did not feel I deserved.

Boo, it may not seem fair at all that we will not be able to spend more years together. None of us, not even you, are guaranteed a minimum number of days on earth. Bad things do happen to good people. Neither God nor man can change that fact. But we have to get on with what lives we are given and allowed. We must live this life.

Some aspects of life that I value, I need to give to you Boo…now that I’m gone:

Seek-out God and his Son. I’m not telling you that you have to be a Christian or of any other religion. What I am saying is that hope you will seek out the same salvation I have found through Jesus Christ. He pulled me out of a very bad start in life and stood by me for the rest of my life. He’ll stand by you too if you only ask him to take the lead in your life.

Love all good things and avoid all evil. The evil of this world is all too willing to devour you. Don’t let it. You’ll know evil when you see it. Turn from it and help others get away as well. To walk amongst evil will only secure your own ruin.

Have a heart for the poor and needy in this world. Never think that you are too good or too well-off or too busy or even too poor to help your fellow man.

Don’t spend your life pursuing money and material. You will certainly see others around you with great wealth, some with no wealth…but happiness of your heart and soul will never be found in monetary or material gains. I’m not saying that you ought not earn money and contribute to this world, country and your church. But to trade your precious years to chase after comparative wealth is futile. Try hard in everything you do, adequate wealth will find its way to you.

Value education Boo. Its important to throw-off ignorance and take-on knowledge deemed adequate for your chosen or assigned path in life. Both the surgeon and the house painter require education. You ought to become educated enough to avoid being fooled and taken advantage of by others with ill intentions or weak plans. You need an adequate understanding of human nature, history, the arts, this planet, current technology and specialties of your desires. To go through life in relative ignorance will only make things harder for you and limit your options in life.

The love of your life and you will find each other. Don’t force it, don’t settle. Just be certain that true love drives your actions together. If you build a family, love them with all your heart and learn what it takes to be a genuinely great Dad and partner. Be dedicated by definitions and degrees that this world may never comprehend. Your family is of greater value than all the gold in the world.

As you go through life and are dealt harmful blows by others and by fate, know that I would not allow it if I were there while you are a child, but when you grow up into adulthood, realize that my absence is not as large a disadvantage. When decisions need to be made about what to do (at any age), ask yourself, what would Dad suggest I do? Even though you never got to know me enough to have that answer, you will know what’s right and what’s wrong according to a natural order of things…and according to the Bible if you decide to learn from it.

Boo. Again, I’m so sorry I won’t be there through the every-day routines and the special occasions. I’ll miss-out on your school play, your baseball games. I won’t see you off on your first date or applaud your walk across the graduation stage. I’ll never see you get married. But I WILL always be with you. As long as you can remember me…as long as you can think of me, I’ll be present in your heart.

Now its important that you not dwell on me or on my absence. You have a life to live. To not live it…to not live it well…to dwell on a loss and allow it to ruin your life is to turn my death into something much worse than it is. Please don’t allow that to happen.

Son I love you. We’ll both miss each other so deeply it will likely always hurt. But do know you are my special boy… My gift from God… My one and only son. If I was not there to say goodbye to you…to give you a hug and a kiss, please know that I would have held on to you as long as God would allow.


_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

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#218153 - 04/14/08 09:50 PM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: Still]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Oh, Robbie. That was so great. Im crying here. \:\) You are one good dad. \:\)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#218182 - 04/14/08 11:30 PM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: AndyJB2005]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
How many parents actually do this? Rob? Are you going to have copies of this in different locations so that at least one of them can be found in the event of your passing? I have backups of everything, I hope you do the same.

This is a GREAT letter Rob.

You left out how to avoid speeding tickets though.


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#218195 - 04/15/08 12:23 AM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: Hauser]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Robbie, I am sure it is wonderful. I copied and saved it on my computer and some day I will take it out and read it. I started to, I wanted to but right now for some reason I just can't. That fact you would do this speaks volumes to me though and I agree wtih Andy and Hauser. You are a good dad.


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#218222 - 04/15/08 02:45 AM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: Freedom49]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
It's a shame more Dads don't do something like that. I, like freedom couldn't read it through. Started to feel another cry coming on and I've been doing that all day and my abs are sore.
I can't help but think of all the Dads going off to Iraq...they really ought to do a letter like that.

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#218240 - 04/15/08 06:08 AM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: blueshift]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rob,

I was in tears from the second line, I think. What a wonderful powerful letter. Should there be a need for such a letter I am sure it's the kind of thing that he will cherish and keep for all the rest of his life.

Your post also shows - once again - what a kind compassionate man and father you are yourself. Reaching out to the young man here who lost his Dad early in life is such a warm human gesture. I'm sure he will appreciate it.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#218255 - 04/15/08 08:25 AM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: roadrunner]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Robbie,

I am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks. What a beautiful and heartfelt letter. I know receiving a letter like this would mean so much to a son. I had heard of someone who wrote a similar letter and made a video of himself reading the letter to his children. What a wonderful keepsake that would make to be able to actually see and hear your father speaking these beautiful words to you. And, you are right, as long as we keep a departed loved one's memory alive, they will always be in our heart and there to help guide us on the journey of life.

Robbie, you are a very good father and an equally good man.

Thank you for sharing this very private and personal letter.

Dan



Edited by DanM (04/15/08 08:26 AM)

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#287151 - 05/11/09 11:40 PM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: DanM]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Things are going on in my life that required this post be bumped back-up.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

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#287153 - 05/12/09 12:01 AM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: Still]
b869 Offline


Registered: 01/26/09
Posts: 767
Loc: Philippines
Your a great father...

Thanks Robbie for sharing this letter

_________________________

When thing get complicated go back to simplicity

Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

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#287157 - 05/12/09 12:36 AM Re: A Letter to My Son [Re: b869]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
(((((Robbie)))))


I miss you. I think of you often. I hope you will reach out and I will try to reach you too. Hang on. Give it time. Do what you know to do.


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