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#218110 - 04/14/08 06:48 PM I dropped my cookie on the ground
rehpotsirhcs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
I dropped my cookie on the ground!
It was the last cookie of the perfect batch –
A batch of soft, warm, buttery chocolate chip cookies
Made from the love, attention, and hard work of my Mother.

She made these heavenly cookies for me,
Her precious prince, so righteous and angelic
Through her eyes you see the faint glow of a halo
Above his innocent head – This child is special!
He deserves absolute happiness and joy absolutely.

I strutted around my backyard kingdom with my
Heavenly cookie cast directly into the wind in one hand,
I held it high above my head for all of my land to see and
My faithful canine companion followed close by my trail of crumbs.

My young hands, so inexperienced and naive, did not know
This unfortunate, disastrous event was about to crumble apart.
I pinched too hard on the cookie edge and it broke off
Tumbling downward faster than the speed of light,
I stood there frozen solid out of shock and fear.

My cookie landed in a pile of mud with all of the
Evidence from this catastrophe splattered over my clothes.
My canine came to investigate this mishap and
He took one sniff of the cookie and decided it was inedible,
Then he took one sniff of me and decided to give a slobbery kiss.

Just moments before this emotional explosion I was a prince,
Happily strutting in my own kingdom before my all my lands.
Now I am filthy, on my knees in a powerless position, and
I am unable to accept the horrifying situation that sits before me.

My furry friend stays by my side and tries to help mend this mess
With his wet, drenched, heart filled kisses but I am a fruitless effort.
I am alone in this hell – this place of turmoil and misery
You stole my absolute happiness and joy! You wicked, you evil, you foul—
What do I blame? So many questions fill my mind...
"Was it the wind? Was it God? Was it a physical force I am ignorant of?"

My stained clothes reveal the answer, the absolute truth –
I am to blame... I am the wicked, the evil, and the foul.
My innocence is a fraud and I am neither angelic nor righteous.
What will my Mother think when she finds out that
I dropped my cookie on the ground!


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#218113 - 04/14/08 07:00 PM Re: I dropped my cookie on the ground [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Chris,

When bad things happen all boys tend to think it's their fault. They blame themselves because no other answer seems to be available. They feel so bad about what is happening, the focus of all the terrible feelings is themselves - so they think they are to blame.

That's never true, Chris, and your answer is in the last stanza of your poem. Look at it for a moment. It's the clothes that are stained and dirty, not you. The clothes can be washed and become clean again, and while all that is happening you will gradually come to see that Chris was always okay - still special, still important, still worth loving.

And still worthy of pride.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#218126 - 04/14/08 07:45 PM Re: I dropped my cookie on the ground *DELETED* [Re: roadrunner]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Post deleted by Freedom49



Edited by Freedom49 (04/14/08 07:47 PM)

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#218196 - 04/15/08 12:26 AM Re: I dropped my cookie on the ground [Re: Freedom49]
rehpotsirhcs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
"A little cookie dough for mom and you are back in business"

Not so. The poem is not meant to be literal. The cookie represents something guys who were sexually abused can relate to. For me it represents the loss of innocence, the loss of happiness, etc. For others it might represent their self worth being destroyed or a deep, important feeling they held onto tightly before the abuse began. My mom doesn't have enough cookie dough to fix that problem.


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#218199 - 04/15/08 12:42 AM Re: I dropped my cookie on the ground [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Yeah.... I know. Not something I myself like to look at. No mom has enough cookie dough for that. I checked. Still regardless of how it feels it is not the end of the world, or of you. Innocence definately, maybe an important feeing, but happiness is temporary and depends on happenings. You will be happy again. There is a sadness that I have felt all my life that I hope never touches you Chris. But even in that I have found happiness many times over once again. That is what I hope for you.



Edited by Freedom49 (04/15/08 12:42 AM)

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