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#217851 - 04/13/08 05:49 PM Unexpected…Responses
Calanthe Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 109
Loc: California
Okay about 2 ½ months ago (about the time I joined this site) I reported my abuser to the leaders of the Mormon Church. That letter became the basis of my survivor story (see Directed By God vol. 1-9 in the Survivor Stories forum).

Anyway, I was just getting to the point were I was sure there would be no response form the Mormon Church and I received a phone message from the authorities of the Mormon Church and I am feeling a little shocky, my stomach is in knots and I want to run and hide. I won’t but I want too. Sigh…my life this to point has made me strong enough to face anything, even the Mormon Church. But one of the things I have learned in years of recovery is not matter what I have to face I never have to face it alone again. So here I am sharing my process with you.

I will break this down in steps: first I will get clear on what I need and want, then I will ask for support and then I will call and find out what they want from me (the phone call made it pretty clear they wanted to set up a time to talk with me, I just don’t know about what…Oh f#%k I hate this shit…being a grown-up and all) and then I will take the next appropriate action and do all in my power to stop this sexual predator

Thanks

Scott

_________________________
You can't save your Ass and your Face at the same time. (Anonymous)

And given the choice I will save my ass first everytime(STC)

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#217853 - 04/13/08 06:01 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Calanthe]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Good for you Scott,

Send me a PM, and I will do anything I can to help.

I am taking on the BSA myself, so I know what kind of things you're going through. Big organization vs. a scared little boy.

Let me know if you want a shoulder to lean on.

Luv ya,
Carl

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#217856 - 04/13/08 06:08 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Calanthe]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Scott,
I do not envy your position. This is a powerful organization. I do admire your courage will pray that you are able to be successful in getting this guy taken care of one way or another. I read your story and have to say that your seduction by this guys has got to be one of the most patient and creative I have seen. My dad was not even on this guys calibre and he was good. I look forward to hearing the outcome of you fight with this system that would protect such a fiend.


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#217924 - 04/13/08 10:33 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Freedom49]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Hey Calanthe,

I don't get it.

You have to meet with them?

That feels like directly squaring off against the abuser.

You sure you want to do that or can you get an agent or lawyer to represent you? I don't know, it just feels scary.

_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#218078 - 04/14/08 04:03 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Calanthe]
Calanthe Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 109
Loc: California
Thanks for your responses guys, I appreciate the support \:\)

Carl, I will be in touch with you thanks for your generous offer.

Free, Thanks for your response here and your validation of the events of my abuse that means a lot to me. I know this is typical of a survivor but there is still a part me that thinks when people hear my story they are going to say I am lying or making it up. So your validation means a lot.

Hogan, I understand what you are saying. It does feel scary. Yes, I could have an attorney or an agent represent me. But the direction I have received from the attorneys I have spoken too has been to proceed without representation due the fact that my case cannot be prosecuted because of the statute of limitation issue involved. But it does put me in a position of having to deal with the representatives of the Mormon Church one on one, which I agree is scary.

Update on contacting the Mormon Church:

I have responded to their first message and basically they want to arrange a meeting either in person or on the phone to determine what “The Mormon Church can do to help me with healing from what was done to me” code for settlement. I am requesting that the meeting be done on the phone. I have contacted one of the attorneys I have spoken with for direction on how to precede from here. This meeting should take place later this week.

I will keep you posted.

Thanks

Scott

_________________________
You can't save your Ass and your Face at the same time. (Anonymous)

And given the choice I will save my ass first everytime(STC)

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#218104 - 04/14/08 06:22 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Calanthe]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
Wow.

Thanks for explaining.

I hope it's code for settlement and you get satisfaction.

Pity these 'statutes of limitation' exist for these crimes. It's giving perpetrators a get out of jail free card.

Good luck and I'll say a prayer for ya.

_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#218130 - 04/14/08 07:50 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: hogan_dawg]
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
Hi Scott,

Hope everything goes well for ya with the meeting/phone call ...
will be thinking of you & sending good positive thoughts that you get the outcome you want \:\)



_________________________
Keep Smilin'
arronb

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#218374 - 04/15/08 06:54 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: arronb]
Calanthe Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 109
Loc: California
Hi All,

Update #2:
I have a telephone meeting scheduled tomorrow with representatives of the Mormon Church. Oh boy… I am pretty clear I want I want to ask for and I will be touching base with an attorney I have spoken to in the past. My partner has been a ton of support through this whole process, but I am scared. Even with my clarity I am scared. I know they can’t hurt me and I know I don’t have accept anything I don’t want but…it is just a little hard to wait this one out.

Again thanks for being here and I will keep you posted on this process.

Scott

_________________________
You can't save your Ass and your Face at the same time. (Anonymous)

And given the choice I will save my ass first everytime(STC)

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#218375 - 04/15/08 06:57 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Calanthe]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Hang in there Scott. Write it all down so you don't get rattled on the phone. Be clear. Be specific. Be firm. Thinking of you.


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#218432 - 04/15/08 10:38 PM Re: Unexpected…Responses [Re: Freedom49]
grover Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/28/07
Posts: 50
Loc: Tennessee
You are the one in the position of power this time. Just remember that. And hang in there. we're all behind you.

_________________________
Shocking revelations, we are all deeply effected.
-the Waitresses "Wise up"

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