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#217759 - 04/13/08 08:51 AM Re: Top five things you love. [Re: roadrunner]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
1: propper creativity, when I'm riding the lightning and feeling that buz, when all the words work and everything is gold.
2: Taking care of others, when i know I'm needed and can honestly help someone, everything from sitting and trying to comfort them when their feeling depressed, to doing the washing up, fetching hot drinks or food when someone walks in and is freezing, or lending a coat, lugging heavy stuff up and down stairs for someone etc. Of course, I'dnot do these things if either not directly asked or if I offer and the person refuses, sinse I'd be really overbearing and unpleasant if I did.

3: My friends and family, all those people who are really kind to me on a rgular basis or spend time with me (yes I know this is my lack of self-worth speaking, but I'm having trouble with this at the second).

4: appreciating the creativity and individuality of others, through their music, their writing their film making , or even their cooking. so long as it's distinctly their's and not a bog standard thing. also, I'd count the individuality of natural beauty, the sea, fantastic mountain landscapes, sunlight or moonlight on a river, or the clean smell of rain, --- not to mention the site of the stars. You could call this God's creation if your inclined to (I personally would), but even if not, I think people should be able to see what I mean here.

5: sensary and interlectual pleasures not associated with others. everything from a tasty but not exceptionally individual peatza, to a good game of chess against the computer or solving a litle problem in logic.

Appologies for the long and weerd answer here, "happiness" was the subject of my undergrad dissertation, and I've basically just tried to paraphrase 6000 words in one post, ---- sorry.


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#217762 - 04/13/08 09:00 AM Re: Top five things you love. [Re: dark empathy]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
1) peace within myself
2) helping others when I can
3) my Mom
4) creating things
5) music

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#217785 - 04/13/08 09:48 AM Re: Top five things you love. [Re: Patrick Walsh]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
I love my wife, my friends (which includes y'all!), my family, my mentors and you're all going to think this is crazy, but I also love my perpetrator, my Father.

It's a hard habit to kick, and a difficult emotional reconciliation - but remember I've had over 40 years with only one Father, so I'm sure you all will cut me some slack for my conflicted state.

I'm workin' on it. \:\)

Oh and I love my critters.



Edited by hogan_dawg (04/13/08 09:49 AM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#217799 - 04/13/08 11:20 AM Re: Top five things you love. [Re: hogan_dawg]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hogan,

I was moved when I saw this:

Originally Posted By: hogan_dawg
I love my wife, my friends (which includes y'all!), my family, my mentors and you're all going to think this is crazy, but I also love my perpetrator, my Father.

It's a hard habit to kick, and a difficult emotional reconciliation - but remember I've had over 40 years with only one Father, so I'm sure you all will cut me some slack for my conflicted state.


You aren't alone in thinking like this. It's tough for a guy to give up on his father; all boys need one and yearn for him to be there for them - even us "old" boys.

No one should presume to tell you what your relationship with your father should be. Only you can decide this. There are even many cases where a reconciliation is possible, especially if the perpetrator relative takes responsibility for what he did and is genuinely sorry.

Perhaps enough remains for you and your father to salvage something of your relationship. If so, and if this is the direction you want to go, I wish you all the best.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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