I was searching through old e-mails I had saved and cleaning up and found this. After a bout of depression, and a long talk, my aunt sent it to me about 2 years ago. I think it's good -- thought I'd pass it along.

Andy

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HOW DO I MAINTAIN LOW SELF ESTEEM?

No setting of clear goals
Depending upon others for a sense of importance
Not accepting complete responsibility for my life
Depending upon others to do what I need to do
Depending upon other people's permission before being able to act
Not differentiating between who I am and what I do
Comparing myself to others and making others a gauge of my importance
Failing to recognize and make choices
Not allowing myself the freedom of expression, the freedom to make mistakes,
the freedom to fail
Being fearful and anxious about things we can do nothing about

AS AN ADULT, I AM RESPONSIBLE TO BUILD AND MAINTAIN POSITIVE
SELF ESTEEM

HIGH RESPONSIBLITY = HIGH FREEDOM

LOW RESPONSIBILITY = LOW FREEDOM

Certain temperaments make the mistake of not pushing harder when they are younger, of being too laid back, watching others accomplish their goals; then
regretting the place in life where they end up, wondering why they are not at the same place as others.

There is a saying in the business world: If you don't have a plan for your life, others will see that and want you to help them accomplish their plan. Helping others is not bad, but it can steer someone's life focus in the wrong direction or lessen their chances of building confidence in their own life plans.

Wow, Andy! That really says it all! I'm going to save this and use it to remind myself of what's really going on as often as I can. It's hard to face, but so true!

I'm printing that out!

VERY interesting perspective Andy. And do you know what? It seems like most of us probably intuitively know this, but sometimes we need to SEE it, just for a reality-check once in a while.

But I would add that it's also the parent's responsibility to set us up to enable ourselves to readily do this later in our adult lives. Which isn't always done for everyone, sadly.