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#217355 - 04/11/08 02:22 PM Just seem to have hit me
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Woman are stronger

a cut or a broken arm is one thing but dealing with emotions is a whole other level

We need you



Edited by mogigo (04/11/08 02:23 PM)
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#217393 - 04/11/08 05:27 PM Re: Just seem to have hit me [Re: mogigo]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I think to some extent your right Mike. Women are wired differently and I think they process emotions and experiences differently.

I think men take an experience and put in some place in a compartment and the emotions may or may not be placed with it to help understand it.

With women experiences are always processed with the emotional connection. That is why I can some times talk about an exerience with my wife and she will ask "How did you feel about that?" amd all I can give her is a blank look. She finds this amazing and frustrating. I find it handy.





Edited by Freedom49 (04/11/08 05:28 PM)

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#217676 - 04/12/08 09:57 PM Re: Just seem to have hit me [Re: Freedom49]
Liv2124 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 159
Loc: New Jersey
Mike,
I don't know if women are actually stronger...
I think that women are just more willing, open, and unafraid to confront the emotions involved in any situation (even when they percieve the situation as bad or threatening) than to avoid them.
It's a belief of, "If you never find out for sure that you have cancer, doesn't mean that you don't have cancer."
I've known for a long time what I'm dealing with. Sometimes, it's overwhelming, because I can't really talk to him. But I sleep well at night. I sleep well because I've said everything I can say and offered him every out within my capability. It's his choice now. But I know that I've done and continue to do, everything I can to get him to where he needs to go.
Don't get hung up believing that this is in any way easy for any of us. Dealing with him through all of this has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do in life. (And I'm actually the Nurse Manager of a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) What I deal with on the job, is EASY compared to this.
It's even harder when you enter in an aspect of control. Recently, I had a conversation with my SO about therapy. What I said in a nutshell was, I can get him to the therapist and even pay for him to go, but I can't make him do it. So, if and when he makes an appointment, he can let me know and I'll get him there. But he doesn't need to avoid me to avoid THIS. It is never going to work. I am not going to drag him kicking and screaming to a therapist and avoiding me is NOT going to make the actual issue go away. It's in his head, and I'm not the one who caused it. He listened. It was a small win.
I thank God every day that I found this site, for many reasons. First and foremost is for the input of other survivors. Because of their responses to my posts, because of their input, I find more patience. Maybe it doesn't make sense to all, but it does to me. I have been close to walking away SO many times...you could never know.
Liv




Edited by Liv2124 (04/12/08 09:57 PM)

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#217700 - 04/12/08 11:29 PM Re: Just seem to have hit me [Re: Liv2124]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Like I said Liv, stronger. To me I would rather die than deal with the emotion's that go with the pain. And then add in the emotion's that are far stronger than any physical pain, and well, you've got yourself a survivor.

I thank you for you're patience Liv, we're getting there. One thing we're starting to understand is how very important those emotion's are when it comes to processing.

Be patient, I know you are, were fighting society and ourselves.

Love
Mike

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