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#217225 - 04/11/08 12:06 AM Acceptence instead of anger or destraction.
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
I crawl bleeding and hurt from the darkness of the cave,
Oncemore out in the ruddy light, oncemore where it's safe.

My armour is wrent and torn with a thousand scratches,
Dark patches,
It's silvered brillience dulled and faded.

From behind I hear my shaddow's awful voice,
Oncemore mocking my cowardice, oncemore an evil noise,

"Well get up and run fool"
"Back to school"
it's tone cruel,
tearing my soul,
with the stark truth before me paraded.

Slowly I stand on the withered leaves,
Oncemore swaying wearily, oncemore feeling no relief.

I lift my heavy sword,
the blade broard,
a lump of uggly metal meant only for hitting.

Some distance away my horse waits for me,
Again to carry me off , again to rest briefly,

In this autumn land,
Lying on sand,
A cold strand,
Beside the sunlit sea's seseless shifting.

But there's no rest for me upon that barren shore,
Soon I'll turn, soon be here oncemore.

To walk into the black,
To attack,
Something I can neither see nor touch nor hurt.

I'll struggle to swing my heavy blade,
Again I'll ache, again bee dismade.

And amid the howling night,
It'll bight,
beyond site,
and my screams will echoe out unheard.

I look around at this wood of barren withered oaks,
Each bears autumn leaves, each dying without hope.

Yet the bloody light is red,
A scarlet thread,
and forknolidge is afterall the best form of defence.

I stand with a stirdy tree at my back,
Once more prepared, oncemore awaiting attack.

I let the tree bear my weight,
Lift my blade,
stand streight,
And turn my eyes to the caves gaping dark expanse.

"come out and face me" I cry,
My voice a golden trumpet, a voice that fills the sky.

Yet I'm stil trembling with fear,
Waiting here,
Afraid to see my shaddow's true and twisted form.

Yet I know the uncertain faded light will be my friend,
Perhaps to win this war, perhaps to make an end.

for out here light can only grow,
An increasing glow,
bane of shaddow,
for this is not the light of sunset, but dawn!




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#217312 - 04/11/08 11:15 AM Re: Acceptence instead of anger or destraction. [Re: dark empathy]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Luke,

Here's a thought that occurred to me as I read your poem. The mightiest sword is often not the one that is heaviest and most difficult to swing, but the one with the sharpest keenest cutting edge.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#218252 - 04/15/08 07:09 AM Re: Acceptence instead of anger or destraction. [Re: roadrunner]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Thanks larry.

the problem is that when I'm trying to fight a shaddow, my only weapon will be light, ---- or at least that is what I'm hoping.


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#218305 - 04/15/08 12:38 PM Re: Acceptence instead of anger or destraction. [Re: dark empathy]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Luke,

Very nice idea! And I think you're right. Especially since a shadow isn't real anyway - it's just a place where there's no light.

Not to say that the task isn't difficult however. This has always astonished me. No matter how many bad feelings about myself I discover to be nothing but falsehood and lies picked up from abuse, when I face a new challenge the old fear is still there. Not as strong, okay. But still there.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#218424 - 04/15/08 10:04 PM Re: Acceptence instead of anger or destraction. [Re: roadrunner]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Obviously master Luke needs a light saber, ---- ;D.

Seriously, I'd never actually thought of the idea that a shaddow is something unreal. I use it as a metaphore for all those bad feelings, sinse I've always had a touch of fear of shaddows, which is very much irrational. Also, sinse it's "my" shaddow, those feelings are mine, and it is me who is the cause of them. and it also synaesthesically fits with the colour and consistancy of those bad feelings in my mind, not to mention going along with the semi-fantasy setting my poems are usually done in.

I never considdered the idea that it might be false or unreal, ---- but I'll admit I'm having trouble thinking of my lack of self-worth, or my fear in that light, sinse their synaesthesically very obvious to me, ---- tgeir quite literally sitting in front of me, ----- quite literally visible and tactilenot just evident from their effects on me.

but you are right though, and that's one I'll have to think about.

sorry about the random references to synaesthesia, it's just very much part of how my mind works, ---- and something my T is just utterly failing to understand.


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