Thanks------Larry---Ditto-------Steve

I did not know WHY they did it to me (never seen such animals before)

I did not know that it would hurt so much for YEARS

I did not know I was so bad they told me, and I know now they were wrong.

Alexey

Guys,

I have been asked to write this up for use as a recovery tool in survivor workshops. None of your names or screen names will be used, of course. I am just going to organize what everyone has said, so other guys will benefit from what we have learned.

If any of you have something further to add, please do so in the next few days. I will do the write-up over the weekend.

Thanks to all of you who have replied and read in this thread. By taking a few moments to share what YOU think or feel, you will be helping many guys now and in the future as they struggle with these same issues. I feel so blessed to know and work with you all.

Much love,
Larry

Larry I would like to have a copy when your done if you don't mind. I think it would help.

Roger,

Of course! I would be happy to do that. I will check to see if there's some way to put up a pdf file here on the DB.

Much love,
Larry

I didn't know what he was doing to me was illegal.
I didn't know if my brothers found out, they would've killed him.
I didn't know it was wrong.
I didn't know I didn't deserve that.
I didn't know at 49 years old, it would come back and haunt me!
I didn't know I would not be able to have a normal, healthy, relationship with a woman I loved again.
I didn't know I could run away.
I didn't know my body was mine.

thanks,

M

SHOULD OF FILED CHARGES AS SOON AS POSABLE

I didn't know it wasn't a game
I didn't know it was wrong
I didn't know I could tell
I didn't know I wasn't to blame
I didn't know it would affect everything in my life
I didn't know that I could repress the memory
I didn't even know there was a memory to repress
I didn't even know there was anything to remember
I didn't know why I was at fault
I didn't know how to tell anyone
I didn't know where to turn
I didn't know why they beat me
I didn't know why they hated me
I didn't know why I didn't fight back
I didn't know why it was right for them to hurt me
I didn't know why it was wrong for me to hurt them
I didn't know why I was chased at every turn
I didn't know why no one would protect me
I didn't know why the protectors became the aggressors
I didn't know who to tell after the protectors attacked
I didn't know the physical wounds would heal to hide the emotional wounds
I didn't know what I didn't know

I didn't know i could say no
I didn't know what to do, so let him
I didn't know how deeply he was betraying and degrading me
I didn't know it wasn't his right as a brother to do it
I didn't know anybody would care, so didn't think to tell (doubt family would have cared)
I didn't know that i wasn't meant for him to play with
I didn't know that he would only get more confident with time

I didn't know that I wasn't the one committing the "sin,"
I didn't know there was a "secret door,"
I didn't know it would happen over, and over, and over,
I didn't know it was more than my body that was damaged,
I just didn't know