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#213651 - 03/28/08 03:47 AM Being there (while on the road to recovery)
ErikSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/08
Posts: 5
Loc: Gauteng, South Africa
BEING THERE

I am tired
Sleepless nights
Tossing and turning
Images clear
Hell - I am in fear!

I am safe, for now
It feels all too real
It is like being there again
The classroom, bed, shower, floor
It is the flat that scare me. I am there!

The voices are loud,
I do hear
Smells overwhelming
Not roses, but fear
The pain, the cold, the corner all so very clear

Do not touch me, it hurts
Their hands caressing me
It is dark but I can see
Crawling on the floor
I need air, I need to open the door

I hate myself for many years
Confuse, distorted, destroyed
Useless, worthless, degraded
I know it was not my fault - they consumed me
I was a boy, for them only a toy

I hope I will get through this
It is very hard to relive
The pain, naked and bare
Helpless, uncertain and scared
It is like - being there!

_________________________
Live to ride and ride to live!

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#216220 - 04/07/08 04:03 PM Re: Being there (while on the road to recovery) [Re: ErikSA]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Erik,

Yes, at times we really do relive what was done to us. But also yes, you can get through this. Sometimes we have nothing but the assurances of others to tell us that, but if we allow it to be enough it will be enough.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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