yesterday i think i had my first trigger. i had forgotten about this memory. i was taking a shower and my mind went to mark.

i was older. i was proabbly 15 or 16. we were preparing for a party at one of mark's friends house. he had gotten a new anal hook and was trying to get it in me. (an anal hook is used in bdsm. looks like a meat hook with a ball on the end.)anwyay it wasnt working. i was resisting it. mark gets pissed. takes me into the bathroom. turns the shower on and told me i need to relax. he proceeds to give me an enema to wash the lube out and he switches to oil based lube. he piles it on the hook. i keep thinking that it looked like frosting. he bent me over the edge of the tub and was able this time to get it in. that was it. we got cleaned up and went to the party.

at the party, i of course, was the show piece. i was naked but had leather restraints criss crossing my chest. at the height of the party, mark calls me to the center of the room. bends me over the table and puts in the hook. he attaches it to a chain that connected to the restaints on my chest. any pull on the chain pulled the hook in farther. he had one of his friends hold me up a few inches off the gound and mark hooked the chains to clip in the ceiling. he tied my hands above my head. his friend let me go. the weight of my body pulling on the chains. i was left there for the party goers to play with. at the end of the night i was exhuasted. in the car on the way home i fell asleep. in my sleepy fog i was walking back to the house and mark whaps me upside the head. he was pissed i got blood on his car seat.