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#216033 - 04/06/08 11:53 PM added stressre
simonsurvives Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 58
Loc: California, Fresno
I am trying to figure out a lot about my life and some of it has to do with things that i care about. I cannot care about anything because i was told at an early age we cannot always get fulfilled. Anything I loved was considered bad because my parents believed that I should start to feel what real life feels like. I had to be emotionally on my own. I have heard about letting your child explore and understnad what the world is like but to leave a child alone like that. Too understand how to care when everyone else hates that part of you. How do you care for something when all this is right there on the surface. Right there yelling at me everytime i sit down to do hw. Or when I sit down and care about my life. OR the way I look. Or the way I want love. What do I do to go over this threshold of pain.
Simple Simon


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#216038 - 04/07/08 12:04 AM Re: added stressre [Re: simonsurvives]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Simon,
Alot of this stuff you question and write about is just lies and misinformation you have received growing up. If you could get to a therapist, a good one, they could help you sort out what is myth that you have picked up about yourself and what is real. It is so hard to figure this stuff out on our own because we have huge blind spots in our perception. Others see the truths about us and our lives but we tend to discount their input as biased because they might have a hidden agenda for telling us the truth as they see it. It really helps to get someone's opinion who has no agenda, like a disinterested thrid party if you know what I mean. I hope this makes sense.


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#216039 - 04/07/08 12:09 AM Re: added stressre [Re: simonsurvives]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1970
Simon,

Not sure I exactly get what you are saying here, but it sounds like you are trying to say that you are 'beating yourself up' over things because of patterns developed from childhood that have carried over into you current life situation. Just take care of yourself. Since a lot of things will take time to figure out, in the meantime do things to take care of your being and do not create further problems. Does that make sense? I know for me it is something I am working on. In particular drinking has been a problem for me (oh heck, I have quite a few!). I had a little slip-up Friday. You see, I can not make everything fixed at once, but while I am working to try and help make things better, I can make positive choices so I don't create new problems. You deserve to take good care of yourself and do things you need to do to make that happen. In the process of taking good care of yourself, you will learn good habits and see other options. Maybe this isn't what you were looking for, but you do deserve that none the less.

Eric

P.S. And what Roger says as well above. Sounds like you are having some negative perceptions of self that are the lies that get carried over from the past. I know them all too well. Keep working on them, and be will to challenge them and see what you might actual learn. Take care,



Edited by ericc (04/07/08 12:12 AM)

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#216052 - 04/07/08 01:12 AM Re: added stressre [Re: ericc]
simonsurvives Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/17/08
Posts: 58
Loc: California, Fresno
I do have a therapist Roger thank you and do I agree with you that a third perspective does really help. Ever since I have found ppl that I can trust I have noticed a huge improvement in my life over all. Thank you for you help as well. Eric, I do know what your talking about where you need to care about yourself. I just got through a half hour to forty minutes stretching session and i cried I think 5 or 6 times all because i was doing something that was helping me and it hurt so bad to do something so good for me. It is hard to want to care again. I get so scared of it, because sometimes you loose the things you care about. I do not like that hurt, I cannot prevent it though either. I can't pause my life and do not let pain enter it because then I will not have happiness either. I strive for days like that because I have felt them. It is these days that I seem to forget i am still here. Thank you guys.

Simon


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