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#215167 - 04/03/08 07:35 PM quick response
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
i feel like talking to a friend right now, just give me a yes or no, should i say

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#215168 - 04/03/08 07:36 PM Re: quick response [Re: king tut]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Say whatever you need KT........

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#215169 - 04/03/08 07:40 PM Re: quick response [Re: Trish4850]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
a friend that doesn't know? not a friend on here

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#215170 - 04/03/08 07:46 PM Re: quick response [Re: king tut]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
I don't understand your post exactly, but OK....I can't be the real life friend, not with that big ocean in the way and all, but I am here and so are all of your other cyber friends.

ROCK ON.....Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#215213 - 04/03/08 10:42 PM Re: quick response [Re: Trish4850]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
thanks Trish, i told somebody, one of my friends, i've actually said, i'm not sure if i feel happy or feel sick actually, but i think it's a good thing

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#215214 - 04/03/08 10:43 PM Re: quick response [Re: king tut]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
It is a huge thing Lewis. I am proud of you.


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#215228 - 04/04/08 12:11 AM Re: quick response [Re: Freedom49]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1955
KT,

You may feel a little weird right now, but by talking and opening up to a friend about what has happened to you in the past, you are helping to knock down the walls that this stuff tends to build up around us. I find that the more I am able to share, the lest sensitized to the subject I become; that is to say that all the anxiety and stuff that I bottled up inside becomes less and less, not that it totally disappears, but it gets better. I think you will find after you get over the initial discomfort that it helps to share. I only want to add that IF you find your friend makes this a situation where it becomes more uncomfortable, you need to be weary of that friend; I only add this because I had a friend I told early on that I think didn't help my cause due to some of his behaviors surrounding my disclosure. But I don't think this should be the normal response from a trusted friend.

Eric


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#215265 - 04/04/08 07:13 AM Re: quick response [Re: ericc]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1867
Loc: durham, north england
It strikes me there are levels of disclosure. There are three friends who I fully disclosed all the details to, ---- and that was really hard. Luckily they've all been fantastic about things.

two of them though are as close to me as brother and sister, and the other is herself a trained counceler, ---- I actually had no ideas of disclosing to her, but I was comfortable enough and we'd already talked about the way I was feeling generally and the causes of my crash last november so disclosing was a bit of a natural progression.

My family know that something happened at secondary school, --- and that it was a bit more than the "bullying" which they always assumed, but I think they guessed this much from some of my behaviour. I have no desire to go into more details with them whatsoever, ---- sinse having space there really helps, but they fully know about my recovery work, and they know the nature of the problem if not the specifics.

I When my tutor was getting incredibly worried (and initiating proceedings), about my lack of progress with my Phd, I also asked my mum to phone and tell him certain details. he's someone I really admire, and someone I've known for years (he was my undergrad and Ma disertation superviser as well). Going into very specific detail with him isn't something I want to do, ---- much as with my family, but having him know that I suffered the abuse and this is why I'm having difficulty being creative, helped.

A couple of other people I've told "there's something a bit wrong at the moment" but not gone further, in fact I've found the "I've been ill" phrase to be quite useful, ---- especially to explain things about me.

obviously this is different for everyone, but i really hope you find people as wnderful as the people I've found to disclose to Lewis, and that it helps you the way it's helped me thus far. the chaps here are right, ---- it is a big step and it is bloody difficult, ---- or at least that's the way I found it.


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#215986 - 04/06/08 09:03 PM Re: quick response [Re: king tut]
Liv2124 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/06
Posts: 159
Loc: New Jersey
Dear king tut,
Say... and keep saying....

Liv



Edited by Liv2124 (04/06/08 09:04 PM)

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