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#215187 - 04/03/08 08:56 PM this site is weird.
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
one guy posts his story about his feelings towards younger guys. he is yelled at and a mob formed.

another guy posts simmilar things, and he is called brave.


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#215188 - 04/03/08 08:59 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: Jarrad]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I don't recall seeing either of the original posts. But it seemed in the first situation, there was more people annoyed by 'the' person who made the more big deal of it. Of course, I could very much be wrong, that is just what thought I had seen.

But yes, this site can be strange sometime.

andrei

(Edit to add: not to make excuses for anything, but thinking of it more, maybe there was a difference to some people with one person being new here and one being more 'established'? I don't know, neither one was issue so much to me)



Edited by ak (04/03/08 09:02 PM)

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#215189 - 04/03/08 09:06 PM . [Re: ak]
JustJeff Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
.

_________________________
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#215190 - 04/03/08 09:10 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: JustJeff]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
who you callin "weird" Willis?

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#215192 - 04/03/08 09:26 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: Still]
JustJeff Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
.

_________________________
.

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#215194 - 04/03/08 09:29 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: JustJeff]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Originally Posted By: JustJeff
ak , i did not make a big deal of it at all.


You were not 'the' person I was referring to. I mean the person who make it the big deal.

andrei


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#215195 - 04/03/08 09:29 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: JustJeff]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
im not talking about the content. or who said what. i think its just extremely interesting how similar circumstances can be written in two differnt ways and have two different results. fascinating psychology.


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#215196 - 04/03/08 09:30 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: Jarrad]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
There is power of how words are used, I think.


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#215197 - 04/03/08 09:31 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: ak]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
absolutely


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#215198 - 04/03/08 09:33 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: Jarrad]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
kinda like weird and extremely interesting

_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#215199 - 04/03/08 09:36 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: ineffable]
JustJeff Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
Oh, that guy. sorry for getting mad at you there. whoops. yea. i kinda find it intresting as well how two similiar things can get two different results for both extremes.

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#215269 - 04/04/08 08:26 AM Re: this site is weird. [Re: JustJeff]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2575
Hey I'll comment! I think both were very brave. Both bared a part of their soul that would be hard I think for almost every human being to do. Admitting that you have those certain desires, especially on a site dedicated to helping those who were the victims of others with those desires is very difficult and not easy to do.

Just like no one here wanted to be sexually victimized, those here who have those desires, didn't ask for them either. It's another thing that was forced upon them by their abusers. It's part of the damage that was done.

The main difference in the two posts is, one admitted to having the feelings, but he had resisted. The other admitted to having the feelings, but had succumbed to them. Both are in need of help, but some others naturally equate those with those feelings with their own abusers and it evokes all sorts of feelings, especially anger.

I think one having been here awhile helped him as well. People had gotten to know him. The other was brand new, and many were afraid he was someone just trying to stir up things to see what pain he could cause.

I'm very glad that you both are still here. I've talked to a few others who at one time considered leaving for one reason or another. I'm glad they are still here as well.

United we stand. Divided we fall.

If we're united, we can spread the word and hopefully spare others our experiences. If we're divided, it gives those who don't care about the damage they're doing the freedom to do what they want.

Silence allows the horror to continue.


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#215271 - 04/04/08 08:44 AM Re: this site is weird. [Re: JustScott]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
As one very wise person reminded me once...

"Paul, survivors tend to have major issues."

I need it tattooed on my computer so that when things go nuts, as they do from time to time, I can be a bit more patient and tolerant of the lunacy.

We all have issues. It's fascinating to see what pushes whose buttons. There is a PHD thesis somewhere on here!

Paul


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#215281 - 04/04/08 09:41 AM Re: this site is weird. [Re: Paul1959]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Perhaps -- just perhaps -- we grew and changed for the better because of the previous situation, and so when the other came up we were more understanding. \:\) Or maybe I'm a hopeless optimist. \:\) lol

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#215295 - 04/04/08 09:58 AM Re: this site is weird. [Re: AndyJB2005]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Well said Scott. Well said.


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#215333 - 04/04/08 11:48 AM Re: this site is weird. [Re: Freedom49]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Yes, I am very glad the response was supportive. Perhaps we are progressing on this issue. I would like to think so.

I would also hope we can grow to allow such posts to be up for more than the mear 10 minutes this post was up. I wonder if that isn't part of it. But progress is progress.

Originally Posted By: JustScott
Just like no one here wanted to be sexually victimized, those here who have those desires, didn't ask for them either. It's another thing that was forced upon them by their abusers. It's part of the damage that was done.

The main difference in the two posts is, one admitted to having the feelings, but he had resisted. The other admitted to having the feelings, but had succumbed to them. Both are in need of help, but some others naturally equate those with those feelings with their own abusers and it evokes all sorts of feelings, especially anger.


Very well said! These are the effects of their abuse, absolutely. I hope we can welcome these brothers into our community for healing. I hope we can distinguish between "abuse reactive behavior" (I believe the therapeutic term), actions caused by the abuse and the actions of an adult who knows what they are doing.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#215354 - 04/04/08 02:01 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: ineffable]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 980
Loc: HULBERT OK
The experences on that some of us have lived through. Have caused us to look at the world with a diffrent perspective

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#215355 - 04/04/08 02:02 PM Re: this site is weird. [Re: LandOfShadow]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I've worked with hundreds of people with at-risk issues, who were serious as a heart attack about recovery and healing (believe me or not), and NOT ONE of them ever said that one day they woke up and just decided to have attractions of that nature. In fact, most of them had it before they even knew what it was, as preteens or teens. By the time they figured out they even had it, and what it was, it was already super hardwired in them and it takes A LOT of therapy to get their head back on straight again. Add to that that they're most likely victims of child abuse themselves and that just puts on 100 other issues they need help with, as you guys know.

Like it or not, it's in this world; and if we really care about preventing child abuse, we can't just tuck it away, and pretend it's not there, to make ourselves feel comfy.

I love you guys for being so open minded and thoughtful about all the angles regarding CSA. This site surprises me in a good way over and over. \:\)

Safe hugs to all my friends. \:\)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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