Mark, My first wife seduced me , it took two years for her to succeed and finally she got pregnant. At that time in my life I believed what people said about having made my bed and needing to lie in it. So I had three children with her thinking that if I was going to be stuck with her for the rest of my life I might as well have kids so I can enjoy my life. Immature? absolutely. Short sighted? easy to see.
After seven years I talked with her mother who was seventy and a miserable old woman who hated everyone and life too. She and her husband were devote catholic so they didn't believe in divorce, instead they moved into seperate bedrooms and died miserable lonely people. I decided that life had to hold more fulfilment than that so I divorced. I fought for and got custody of my children, (even she admitted that I was the most loving and capable parent). I was satisfied with my decision and do not regret it.
After nearly a decade a person came into my life as if God had just dropped her down to me, but even if that hadn't happened I was satisfied with my decision to live an "honest" life and not one led by someone elses value judgment. I believe you can find a way to make the decision as easy as possible on everyone and I believe you will find that the people who love you will want your happiness too.
Here is a short poem I wrote about the experience:
I am wary of people offering me
a way they are sure I should take
a thousand wrong steps on a well worn trail
will never a correct path make
I’d rather stumble and weave a bit
call on god if I make a mistake
and know the direction I move from here
won’t label me “fraud” or “fake”
Be kind to yourself Mark,
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!