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#21463 - 07/28/05 11:41 PM Medicb4
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Tonight we've recieved the sad news that MedicB4, Scott, has taken his own life on Tuesday.

Scott's wife ends her message by saying "I'm so tired of the offenders winning over us, harming us, destroying our lives. I need to keep going, I just don't know how."

I'm sure that we all share and understand her feelings.

Please spare a thought or a prayer for her and their two young children at this tragic time.

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#21464 - 07/29/05 12:01 AM Re: Medicb4
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
I am trying to take deep breaths, the tears refuse to flow, my mind is spinning. Please send my sympathies to Scott's wife and children. I hope she has loved ones around her to help her through this terrible time and the challenges she will face.

She does need to keep going and the way how is to look into the innocence in her children's eyes. She needs to protect them and stop this cycle of pain.

I'm stunned. And saddened. And angry.


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#21465 - 07/29/05 12:13 AM Re: Medicb4
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 469
Loc: UK
Shocked and saddened, I wish his family all the strength they need, how awful.
Scott RIP.
Too sad.

Peter


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#21466 - 07/29/05 01:23 AM Re: Medicb4
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
It cannot be understood. When last night I answer on private messages, there was a message from this man, to offer me support and 'embrace' for me speaking my history. I answer him to thank him so, and to hope, that we can help each other with it. And that message, it will never be read. I was capable I shall never help him as he gives me the help. I find it awful. My big regrets to his wife and children. I most of all regret, that they should transfer consequences of his decision. And my heart - with him who, should be, felt like so alone and despair to make it, notwithstanding who he should help him. This fully is terrible to me.

VN


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#21467 - 07/29/05 01:26 AM Re: Medicb4
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Dammit this is happening too often. When will society wake up and realize that this crime against us is horrendous. They seem to be in denial. Every time I open a newspaper or see the news some other asshole has been arrested for molesting young people.

I cannot condone suicide because when a life is taken the creeps win and I cannot abide that. I grieve for Scott and his family. We cannot bring him back but we can make sure that we stay the course and are here for each other.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#21468 - 07/29/05 01:26 AM Re: Medicb4
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
My prayers and sympathies to Scott's family at this difficult time.

It's difficult to know what to say at such a time. Perhaps one thing is that when we lose someone like this his life and struggle should be honored by trying even harder to win through ourselves. As Scott's wife says: "I am so tired of the offenders winning over us."

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#21469 - 07/29/05 07:48 AM Re: Medicb4
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Very sad. A

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#21470 - 07/29/05 09:30 AM Re: Medicb4
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I thought he was getting through this, but we know that is never a sign.

Three in a week is far too many, and I am sad for this guys family, they must be in real grief,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#21471 - 07/29/05 10:40 AM Re: Medicb4
Kirk Wayne Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 499
Loc: Shrewsbury UK
Four lives ruined in one go through CSA, when will this end?

The survivors that I have heard of that have taken their own lives now is into double figures and I suspect there are many, many more. When are our leaders and politicians going to see the light.

"Three in a week", one a year is one too many.

Kirk
"Instigate change, as it appears it wont come naturally in our cause. Sometimes it needs a little forcing".


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#21473 - 07/29/05 01:16 PM Re: Medicb4
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jasper,

I was wondering much the same thing once I heard of Scott's death. It really hit me hard in the wake of other things that have happened here recently.

I too wonder if something can be done here about this problem. I take the point that the BoD and mods are not running a suicide crisis center here, and that this sort of thing is a lot different from just managing and focusing discussion among survivors of CSA. But I would like to ask if this can at least be looked at. Specifically:

  • Is the suicide warning properly worded? Does it give a message that can be misinterpreted?
  • Is there any way of establishing a kind of "safety net" here? I'm not sure what I mean by that. Certainly not any kind of formal counselling service, but just some way that someone in danger can be snagged before things get out of hand and helped to seek professional help. I ask because so many of us have very close personal friendships here, and might be more willing to speak to a friend here than to ring a hotline.

The guys at risk are our friends and brothers, so of course we want to do something - or see something done. But here are some points I think we all have to accept in this very sensitive and triggering area:

  • This is a can of worms and for all kinds of practical - not to mention legal - reasons it may not be possible to do anything more. A website cannot save the world from boyhood SA and its consequences.
  • It is not reasonable to ask the the BoD or mods to consult us or start a dialogue on this one. It they think things might require a fresh look, fine, but they are the trained professionals and are best equipped to handle such matters.
  • The BoD and mods already have a pile of pending issues to deal with: 3-4 major items that I know of, and I assume there are others.
  • It is not immediately clear to me how or if a discussion of points relevant to this issue can be pursued while maintaining the very important ban on threatening self-harm here.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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