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#218241 - 04/15/08 06:11 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: arronb]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Hi Arronb,

It's a really good feeling being able to exchange, or just read, similar feelings and experiences.
I told my therapist that I went on and he was very happy for me.
When are they setting up something like this for us downunder?
I'm sure I will learn a lot about myself being here

BGD


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#218245 - 04/15/08 06:26 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: dking777]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
I could handle the pain..it was the loneliness that brought me back again and again.

Something about that really struck me. The loneliness drove me to do all the things I regretted, and invariably these things revolved around lust.
However, lust does not roam free when you don't trust, and is harder still to deal with when I was hoping like hell to find love while entertaining lust.
Very confusing, let me tell you.
But, how do you survive a lifetime of abuse? I can't understand how brave / strong some people have had to be.
I guess with me, throughout my life I lived in denial of many things - I think reality would have killed me.
All I can say is don't give up, and I know that from my Adult Children Of Alcoholics support group - supporting each other opens up a new world.
Hope this at least makes sense

BGD


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#218248 - 04/15/08 06:42 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: bgd]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Welcome, BDQ,

I am so glad you found us - I think you'll find this is a good place to help unravel some of the abuse you were subjected to as a child.

Hope you have as positive an experience here as I have.

Dan

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#218250 - 04/15/08 06:59 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: dannym]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Thanks for the welcome,

I am sure that it is going to help unravel the thought processes.
It's like making bread out of flour - the thought processes will turn into feelings. Then I will be able to put them into words.

BGD


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#218275 - 04/15/08 10:13 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: bgd]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
bgd,

Just another word of welcome. I'm glad you found us and I know you will find a lot of understanding and support here.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#218276 - 04/15/08 10:20 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: roadrunner]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Love v. Lust. Hmmmmmmm. I have to admit that the first is something I treasure more than almost anything else I could receive. To be loved is to receive an incredible gift.

Lust is something I just don't see in the same way. Okay, we all have sexual urges and needs. But for me at least, meeting them in a context in which sex is the only thing that's going on isn't an experience I value all that much after the fact.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but isn't it true that any dumb animal can fuck?

Much love,
Larry


_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#218359 - 04/15/08 04:57 PM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: roadrunner]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
To me the word Love has a meaning I can't even relate to. At this time in my life I just don't know what love is. I always at times felt I was in love. But then the love fades away. It fades away from relationships, from emotions, from life. How can love feel so good, but with me it always leaves me to feal sad again, rejected again, angry again, lonely again. It just must not be love, because I was under the understanding that love is always suppose to be there. You know like the love I have for my kids. How do I ever get that kind of love in a relationship? I know I Love God too. But even with God I feel at times that he too is letting me down.

To me lust is just that, a temporary fix on something I feel I have to have now. It is to me, just a fix. I will lust after something until I get it, sex, food, material things. Once I get my fix, I go on until I get that lusting urge again. Then I do just that, find a way to fulfill my lust, my urge.

This is a good topic for me today. The love of my life left me yesterday. Now it is back to picking up the pieces of my life and deciding if I have the strength to start over again

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#218372 - 04/15/08 06:46 PM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: KENKEN]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ken,

I'm so sorry to hear this news. Just know we are all with you as you cope with your loss. You do have the strength, my friend.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#218487 - 04/16/08 08:01 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: roadrunner]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
roadrunner,

thanks for your welcome. I hope I can give as much support and wisdom to others as I read here.
And no, it probably isn't harsh. It's just that lust often seemed to be the only option, or the only successful option, but after having fulfilled that, all I would be left with was enormous guilt and emptiness and sadness.
I too wanted love but only saw lust.


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#218490 - 04/16/08 08:05 AM Re: Love - vs - Lust [Re: DanM]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
DanM,

You said so well what I couldn't work out when I was younger.
I have to digest it all slowly - there is so much information here I don't know where to go to next.
Thanks

BGD


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