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#214613 - 04/01/08 11:10 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: Freedom49]
JorgeR Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
Roger,

*smile* yeah it was an amazing weekend...I never felt so much good energy buzzing around. I am so glad you were there.

Peace,
Jorge

_________________________
I found my little boy at Alta 2007...I spoke the unspeakable shame at Sequoia 2008...I learned to flounder at Alta 2009

What breakthrough can YOU have at a Weekend of Recovery?

** talk to me about WoRs or BoD or Committees **

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#214615 - 04/01/08 11:12 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: KENKEN]
JorgeR Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
Oh, Ken...

You freakin made me cry...

I love you brother.

Peace & Joy,
Jorge

_________________________
I found my little boy at Alta 2007...I spoke the unspeakable shame at Sequoia 2008...I learned to flounder at Alta 2009

What breakthrough can YOU have at a Weekend of Recovery?

** talk to me about WoRs or BoD or Committees **

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#214651 - 04/01/08 01:34 PM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: JorgeR]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3390
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Jorge,

I am glad that this weekend was a powerful one for you

I have heard guys here over the years say that no matter how many weekends of recovery they've been to- they always get something new from every weekend they go to

I wish that somehow the government would pull their heads out of their @sses and give organizations like MS the funding that they need to help all of those who seek help in overcomming their pasts - we did not ask for these things to be done to us - why should we bear all of the financial burdon of trying to undo what was done to us...

I am going to do all in my power to make it to Alta this fall - though money will be very tight...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#214658 - 04/01/08 02:43 PM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: TJ jeff]
JorgeR Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
Jeff,

Good to hear from you!

We had one 4 timer and a few 2 timers (lol) at this weekend, but the large majority it was their first...and I'd say everyone who this was not their first said exactly that, they got something different. I'll miss you in Alta, schedule conflict, though I really want to attend a Level 2...I know, I know, greedy bitch, aren't I ;-)

Peace & Joy,
Jorge

_________________________
I found my little boy at Alta 2007...I spoke the unspeakable shame at Sequoia 2008...I learned to flounder at Alta 2009

What breakthrough can YOU have at a Weekend of Recovery?

** talk to me about WoRs or BoD or Committees **

Top
#214817 - 04/02/08 10:59 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: JorgeR]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
I wish I was there! Jorge I'm so proud of you!


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#214858 - 04/02/08 05:54 PM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a WoR [Re: JorgeR]
Roofus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 233
Loc: Utah
Hi Jorge, it's me... Allen from Sequoia. Thank you for sharing your story. The retreat this past weekend was so painful yet so healing for me. Thank you for sharing your experiences, and feelings. I feel as though I can relate, I have spent the majority of my life mastering the ability to bury my emotions, and keep the memories of things past in a secret/dark places that no on is allowed to witness.

When you state that you don't have or express emotions, I felt touched. You expressed so much emotion at the retreat, and I envy that. Although I was not in your group, you touched my heart in many other ways and impressed upon me that I too may have the capability of allowing others even a little peek into my past, and exposing my vulnerabilities even if just a little bit.

After the first day of the retreat, I wrote in my journal that I hated it, that I didn't want to be there, and I was looking for some way to escape. The second day was really rough on me, and I felt so distraught. That day, I wrote in my journal that I really didn't hate being there, but what I hated was the way it was making me FEEL. Feeling so much that I was loosing control! And yet as I have processed somd of these "feelings" I finally realized that I am alive.

I haven't told anyone this, and no one at the retreat knows (yet), but Sunday morning my heart was breaking. I went to breakfast and I felt an overwhelming feeling of despair that I was afraid was going to explode out of me. I literally ran out from breakfast, and hid behind the water tower in some of the bushes where no one could see me. I fell apart, and cried so hard... I wasn't going to go back to the lodge, I didn't want that vulnerability to be seen by anyone. Just minutes before we had to begin, I somehow found the strength to go back (probably because I was freezing to death). I spent the time during small group trying to push the feelings back down. Then at our closing gathering I was sitting right next to you. I felt your strength, the look in your eyes was so calming to me, and you "raised me up." I almost collapsed. But thank you for your strength, and for witnessing to others that we can live.


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#214941 - 04/03/08 12:26 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: JorgeR]
supertalented Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/30/08
Posts: 8
Loc: New York
Jorge --

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is amazing and gives me faith that we can and do heal. Congratulations.

Best, J


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#214943 - 04/03/08 12:44 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a WoR [Re: Roofus]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Roofus,
I so wanted to talk to you during the retreat. I could feel something in you wanting to come out and be released. I went out of my way several times to say hi and finally to hug you before I left. I wish there had been more time to get to know more people better. There was such pain in your eyes. I regret now getting so caught up in my stuff that I did not reach out to you like I wanted to. I am glad the dam is breaking on those emotions. It will be scary and chaotic but when it settles down you will know your alive and real and that you can love and be loved. Stay strong. You have more courage than you realize. YOU STAYED!


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#214946 - 04/03/08 01:11 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: JorgeR]
NWcats Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/06
Posts: 70
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Jorge-
I'm so glad you had the experience you had. I too had an amazing experience this past weekend and hope to put in words as you did so well what I took away.

I know I came away with an incredible new support network and I'm glad to see it continuing here.

Peace to you,
Jackson

_________________________
*** WOR Alumni Sequoia March 2008 ***
*** Alta Advanced Weekend September 2008 ***
Ask me about both!

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#214956 - 04/03/08 02:24 AM Re: So this is the story of what can happen at a W [Re: Curtis St. John]
JorgeR Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
Curtis,

Now you know why I volunteered for the board...I have to do whatever I can to make this program not only continue, but grow...

Peace & Joy,
Jorge


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