Ken Singer's "Disclosure and Confrontation" in the articles area on the MS homepage might be helpful concerning talking to your family about this.
As to your fathers' attitude, grrrr indeed!
Sounds like my mother re: her abuse of me in general, or even that I suffered any abuse at all, not to mention the SA--which I haven't, she'd totally deny it.
Well, we know what happens when someone does ass-u-me something! But she isn't making an ass outta me anymore!
Don't let your father or your family try to make one out of you!
Take care of you, Charles