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#214522 - 03/31/08 11:08 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: Hauser]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Hauser
Jeff? Does your cousin's family have a pet? What does he act like towards that family pet? (if they have one)


huh, that's a strange question, i would hate to think that there is a link between beating a pet and sexual abuse, i never did anything to my dog, there is no excuse in hitting a pet, although i can have an understanding of the dynamics of the situation

i can understand the idea of acting out, i used to rip my teddies up all the time and then sow them back up afterwards when i felt sorry for them

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"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#214524 - 03/31/08 11:14 PM . [Re: king tut]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
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#214531 - 03/31/08 11:44 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: pufferfish]
Hauser Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
I brought up the family pet thing because it was a key de>

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#214590 - 04/01/08 09:20 AM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: JustJeff]
pufferfish Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6818
Loc: USA
JustJeff,

Yes, it is a difficult situation. I agree.


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#214652 - 04/01/08 01:37 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: pufferfish]
hogan_dawg Offline
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Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
The pets issue is a good one. It may be simply demonstrated with dolls that represent kids, pets, or whatever.

Ever sit down with him and a few GI Joe dolls and watch his naturalistic play? You might pick up on things by just facilitating his own play.

I wouldn't mention child sexual abuse at all. Nope. You'll taint your findings and that could be damaging to a CSA case when it goes to trial, or damaging to his own recovery.

Let HIM talk, YOU listen would be my approach. Then if you find or suspect something, you have untainted data.



Edited by hogan_dawg (04/01/08 01:41 PM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#214663 - 04/01/08 02:59 PM . [Re: hogan_dawg]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
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#214725 - 04/01/08 10:15 PM . [Re: USFbull]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
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#214731 - 04/01/08 10:42 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: JustJeff]
hogan_dawg Offline
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Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
I don't know if diagnosis is really your job to do the diagnosing anyway - getting data is one thing, interpreting it rightly another. Complex stuff. So I don't know. Maybe your energies can go toward something else that helps out?

Like, I'm wondering, if you suspect abuse is happening, you might suspect it because he seems to check out on a CSA checklist. That's sort of what you've done already and that's cool. But as we're discovering, there are limits to how far that can go. I mean, legally, I don't think you could administer tests, for example. And even talk about CSA could itself be triggering and traumatic - and you don't want that either.

Or, you might suspect it because you've observed someone with a keen interest in children hanging around him, or being with him in more private situations. That kind of data is what the people who can help are looking to see also.



Edited by hogan_dawg (04/01/08 10:44 PM)
_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#214732 - 04/01/08 10:45 PM . [Re: hogan_dawg]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
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#214734 - 04/01/08 10:55 PM . [Re: JustJeff]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
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