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#214415 - 03/31/08 04:25 PM . [Re: pufferfish]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
Posts: 262
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#214416 - 03/31/08 04:31 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: pufferfish]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 982
Loc: HULBERT OK
If you think that someone ia abuseing your cousin . Talk who ever that you have to. NOW do not wait do it . Because They should not have to be abused any longer . Because this is fucking his life up . The sooner it stops the better. If you can do any small part in getting this stoped PLEASE DO. This should neaver happen to any one ever!!
Direct him this to this list. because we have all ben where he is. And are able to understand what is in his head and heart
My cure for rapest & pedifiles is to have them neutered just like the dogs that ther are!
I woulkd like to see a day that this list would no longer be needed . Because sexual abuse would be a thing of the past
We all have our dreams

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MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#214422 - 03/31/08 04:53 PM . [Re: OKIE MIKE]
JustJeff Offline
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#214463 - 03/31/08 08:16 PM . [Re: JustJeff]
JustJeff Offline
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#214504 - 03/31/08 10:34 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: JustJeff]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Jeff? Does your cousin's family have a pet? What does he act like towards that family pet? (if they have one)


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#214510 - 03/31/08 10:45 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: Hauser]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1962
Hauser,

Why the pet question? I only ask because I had a cat I treated a bit poorly (don't worry, nothing too drastic). I had some issues that happened before the abuse that I think led to some minor acting out, but I think it got much worse afterward. I can see pretty clearly now that a lot of my actions were responses based/influenced by a crummy situation.

Eric


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#214513 - 03/31/08 10:52 PM . [Re: ericc]
JustJeff Offline
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Registered: 03/19/08
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#214516 - 03/31/08 10:57 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexuall [Re: Hauser]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
It is of course, it is possible he been abused. But also is possible he is changing in his charater, and personality, as he get older, and come into his new age and new life in school and such. I think it is very much nature, that as we grow up, we will change some. Some things we have interest in before, perhaps we do not now, and perhaps even to become more thoughtful and less social then before, with not having nothing bad to cause such change.

I just think it is perhaps possible that sometime we will 'see' abuse in people because of what have happened to us. Not everyone behave ways they do because they was abused. Some do. Some do not.

I hope that he will be all right, and he not been damaged.

VN


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#214519 - 03/31/08 11:02 PM . [Re: VN]
JustJeff Offline
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#214520 - 03/31/08 11:05 PM Re: Help. Help. I think my cousin has been sexually abused. [Re: JustJeff]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6872
Loc: USA
The way to ask him is:

Bring the list of symptoms with check marks by the ones you have observed. You want to help him. You will listen to what he says.

Start in a friendly way, expressing an interest in him.

Bring up the subject of CSA, very gently mentioning that you know there is such a thing and that lots of guys get into something like that. Perhaps mention that you have been reading on this website.

Mention that many guys on this website kept a secret when they were boys because they were ashamed or threatened or both, but that they now realize that they had been manipulated and that if they had shared the information it would have prevented much pain.

If he shuts it off don't consider it a failure, but the next you see him quietly mention that you are willing to listen.

Usually when the secrecy bubble bursts he will be well on his way.


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