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#212001 - 03/20/08 11:15 PM Anyone else "On The Job"?
Chester Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Long Island, NY
Feeling a bit melancholy lately. I'm supervising a few SO's and one of 'em nearly got me to lose my cool. Anybody else here on the job? What are your tips for handling the shitty days? I'm in the screwed up circumstance that most of the agencies I'd be able to go to for my own counseling are the same ones I refer victims and my subjects to, so I can't go. And overtime is so great nowadays, I don't have the time to drive out to the city to hit the private groups I hear great things about.

_________________________
rock: left pocket

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#212141 - 03/21/08 03:27 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: Chester]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1794
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Wow, that's a tough one.

Some of the tricks I use are stepping back and looking at the bigger picture, understanding that nothing is permanent (including the up feelings from good days and the down feelings from bad days).

with the SO's you maybe you can visualize the greater good of keeping them out of trouble and others safe.

I don't know if that's much of a help.

Sometimes when things are tough I put things in perspective by saying, "When the sun goes out in five billion years, no one's going to remember I had a bad day."

Good luck, and remember we're here for you... even if we don't always have good answers.


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#212313 - 03/22/08 03:47 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: Curtis St. John]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I do not know what is 'SO', so I can not really know how to respond.

Andrei


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#213338 - 03/26/08 07:28 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: ak]
Chester Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Long Island, NY
SO = Sex Offender. I'm a Probation Officer and I am also an incest/sex abuse survivor. I have people under my supervision who have committed various crimes, and some of them are sex offenders. Most are unknown, some are in the news. Most days I can handle just fine, however some days are real tough and I have no peers with whom I can share my background with.

The day I posted this, I was angered by an attorney who began to attack the character of the 9 year old who is the victim in one of my cases, and the overconfidence of the offender afterwards. When the attorney tried to discredit the little girl by pointing out her emotional instability and acting out behaviors, I very clearly corrected him in a courtroom, that such behaviors are strong symptoms of sex abuse, not an indication of a lack of credibility. I handled it well in public, but internally, I was furious. This is routine stuff, and I don't like calling attention to myself by overreacting.

I'm wondering if there are others who work in law enforcement who are survivors and have healthy, established support. I can't seek any professional services in my own community, and it gets frustrating sometimes. I have a Weekend of Recovery I look forward to attending in October. The conference this past Fall was a great help as well, as I had the chance to meet Jim Clemente, a Special Agent with the FBI.

Thanks for the advice, though, Curtis. Sometimes I have to get my head around these things in order to just walk into the same room with them and play nice.

And awesome avatar, Andrei. I'm still trying to pick one out.

_________________________
rock: left pocket

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#213343 - 03/26/08 07:41 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: Chester]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
there are other people here who are in your field or close-----------------------i am sure in time they will respond-most of them are pretty busy


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#213345 - 03/26/08 07:54 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: sabata]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Chester, we haven't met, but I wanted to say "hello" and that I SALUTE you! It must be very trying for the soul to have to put up with the bullshit that defense lawyers will bring up in order to discredit a..............NINE YEAR OLD.

I mean, I UNDERSTAND that our legal system in an adversarial one, (with all it's shortcomings) and there is plenty of sin to go around, from overzealous District Attorneys, to the routine defense example that you just described above. I'm happy to see someone such as you that has risen above his abuse and learned how to not only better himself, but to make a vital difference in the lives of other victims/survivors. The world needs more people like you!


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#213939 - 03/29/08 11:47 AM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: Hauser]
Chester Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 48
Loc: Long Island, NY
Thanks, guys. I need to hear the feedback. Half of me feels this is too close to home and I should back off. It shouldn't be like this. The other half knows that so many people in the courts and law enforcement mean well, but don't have a clue; so I have to step up to the plate and rise to the occasion.

_________________________
rock: left pocket

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#213960 - 03/29/08 01:35 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: Chester]
Happy Birthday Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Hi Chester,

I've been a police officer for 19 years.

Please feel free to PM me.

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#214165 - 03/30/08 01:31 PM Re: Anyone else "On The Job"? [Re: Brian]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I'm not very productive on my shitty days. And I have had a lot of them the last few weeks. I try to do busy work hands on stuff, take a break more than often and go for a walk. Lunch I hide somewhere and relax to some music, I use an mp3 player so it drowns out the world. this hour helps a lot to get me through the day.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
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