I am a survivor and I did have a wonderful relationship for many years. However she has Multiple Sclerosis and is in later stages and there is no cure. I started dealing with my csa 10/07 after 2 years of therapy. I can only say for my situation that yes you can find peace. She had peace but the revelation of the csa of me, the MS, and us living 3 1/2 hours from each other was just too much.
I am still here is because the site has helped me understand myself and find the true me which is a wonderful experience. I also would like to help others if I can. I have been in some sort of recover since I was 16, I'm now 44. I have a lot of experience with recovery just not csa. I dealt with it and its over. Learning more about me is important and taking care of me is just as important.
Just as taking care of yourself is important, and part of that is finding peace.
Peace is within yourself and you will have to take time for you and care enough about yourself to take time for you. This is not being selfish it is necessity. Nobody can take care of you as well as you can. Ask for what you need. Communicate honestly and openly, its your life too.
This site is a good place to start learning http://www.joy2meu.com/
See if something there will help you find some peace. I know it helped me find peace when I was in a relationship with an abused person.
I nearly lost myself because I thought everything I was doing was wrong but it was not me it was the one I loved and I put that person first. I thought I was crazy but I was not. I had issues but her issues are not mine to own just like your husbands are not yours. you can be supportive just not enmeshed in them.
This is my experience and I'm not sure if it will help but I hope you find what you are looking for.