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#213159 - 03/26/08 07:52 AM Site Policy
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6353
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Given the rather strong and mixed reaction to one survivor's story, maybe we can point-out, hi-light, re-visit, or establish a stated policy of action when some comes to the site claiming perpetration of current abuse (planned, possible or actual).

I have not been able to find an established, stated policy. I hope we would have one given all the potential ramifications of these cases.

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#213167 - 03/26/08 09:02 AM Re: Site Policy [Re: Still]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Robbie,

Good idea. At the moment our policy is that guys who have At Risk issues should request admission to the At Risk Forum from Ken Singer. We do not, however, have any policy concerning minors, at least not to my knowledge. I will raise your point in the ModForum and then get back to you here.

L.

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
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#213172 - 03/26/08 09:08 AM Re: Site Policy [Re: roadrunner]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6353
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
I would encourage that we keep in mind inherent and bound obligations to public policy when considering our organizational policy.

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#213210 - 03/26/08 11:33 AM Re: Site Policy [Re: Still]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I thought the policy was, not that I have actually seen it, to notify the Mods and let them deal with it. Or maybe it is to start several inflamatory rants and get everyone in an uproar. Both seem to work well.


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#213216 - 03/26/08 11:55 AM Re: Site Policy [Re: Freedom49]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
LOL. Don't you like all that adrenaline Roger? :eyeroll:

What ever we do, let's keep in mind that if you are an undercover cop, the last thing you want to do is drive your suspect away and stop talking to you, right? The uproar serves to do that.

Also, if you have serious triggers, you have a certain responsibility to learn to handle them. Ignoring a trigger warning and then freaking out is not doing that. I'm not at all saying this is easy, it's very hard for me, but sometimes I wonder if people expect the world, or the site, should change so they aren't triggered. That severely limits speech on the site, and doesn't give people a chance to learn to manage triggers.

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Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
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Paul Eluard

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#213224 - 03/26/08 12:33 PM Re: Site Policy [Re: LandOfShadow]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
For me I never even knew the identity of my perps.
I've had to ask myself the question many times over, what would I do today if I met them. It's damned difficult. Given my Christian
background and affiliations I'm not sure what I would say.
I would hope I could say I could forgive them, but; I'm not even sure about that. Personally I would rather avoid the whole issue of being confronted with such a dilemma. Am I a piece of shit for thinking this way. I just don't want to confront this issue in this stage of my life when I need to heal myself first.

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No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
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#213229 - 03/26/08 12:41 PM Re: Site Policy [Re: jcf1957]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
It is reckless ad irresponsible to ignore a sign that says DANGER OPEN PIT and walk into it and then yell at the pit and eveyone else who will listen because your there. If your stupid enough to do that please have the decency to quietly climb the ladder and get out and go away with lesson learned. I know I expect to much. What can I say.


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#213235 - 03/26/08 12:49 PM Re: Site Policy [Re: Freedom49]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6353
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: Freedom49
It is reckless ad irresponsible to ignore a sign that says DANGER OPEN PIT and walk into it and then yell at the pit and eveyone else who will listen because your there. If your stupid enough to do that please have the decency to quietly climb the ladder and get out and go away with lesson learned. I know I expect to much. What can I say.


This relates to personal accounability and responsibility of reading and reaction. I'm curious as to what MS.ORG's actual stated policy is on such information (nature of which I opened the thread).

If public policy and MS policy don't syncronize...we may have significant problems.

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#213245 - 03/26/08 01:21 PM Re: Site Policy [Re: Still]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Hmmmm; I wonder if its too unmanly to forgive
Sometimes I eat my own words, or is it that I'm too soft ?
Life is one hell of a learning experience.

_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#213251 - 03/26/08 01:54 PM Re: Site Policy [Re: jcf1957]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
There was, few years ago, a self-confessed 'perp' here. He had confessed to the boy's family, and the police, and had served time in prison. He was also a survivor, and this perpetration was his 'acting out' (putting in quotes because whether it is 'acting out' or just direct perpetration is to each to judge). At the request of someone, he had posted what he had done, in great detail. Such uproar occurred, and he left the site of his own will. The moderaters were having difficultys at the time to determine where, at this site, a self acknowledged perpetrater belonged, whether it was in the 'At risk' forum only, or throughout the site, provided they was a survivor also. I do not know if any actual official 'policy' was decided in that case. (I was trying to find the long thread about it, but could not recall the time frame of it occurring, and did not want to look through hundreds of pages of old posts). Someone in that thread, Sinking I think, also posted a long, long list of resources for perpetraters, or people with high risk or thoughts to perpetrate. I believe there was like 20 resources on that list (again, anothe reason I tried to find that thread).

The actual person involved, I PM'ed with him some, and he seemed genuinely in remorse for what he did, genuinely upset for the hurt feelings he caused here, and overall, like he could be/was a decent person. Of course, my old sport coach comes across as genuinely respectable and decent as well. Not to say that man did not have his own sense of honor, but to say that I have made mistakes of seeing to much good in people who perhaps do not have so much.

I know that Ken Singer, and some of the moderaters, will recall the situation I am talking about, and perhaps one of them can let it be known if any official policy was ever determined for this situation.

andrei


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