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#213127 - 03/26/08 12:32 AM PTSD / FAMILY /REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
Why does it have to be so fuckin complicated when it comes to PTSD and trying to explain to family who have no fuckin clue as to why / how it effects others yet they have no idea or even care why you're acting out only that they wish you'd just "STOP" being an %@!%!## or whats his problem.

flipping out
giving someone a toungue lashing over something they think is trivial yet triggering to you.

I am so sick of being a fake in that the family i belong to continues to debate and argue a dead issue and a non-factor....ptsd is in no way anything anyone can explain well enough for those who are not diagnosed with yet simply think i need to move on....

the last time i voiced how i felt i was attacked by other people on here....my intent is to get some feedback ...if you're going to climb all over my case agasin keep your comments to yourself.

I am winning at a losing battle.....trying to get my family to belive me when i have proven over and over and over again that i have no control over what triggers me or what does not....isn't that the reason they're called triggers because you never see or expect them coming.

I cannot just move on i need to realize( and i have have ) my family who i have drastically effected through the years is not going to ever accept my condition otherwise they weould have by now.

I have nothing to prove to anyone....yet i find myself looking for and expecting to be believed ....why i do this i may never know.but it hurts alot sometimes.

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#213174 - 03/26/08 09:13 AM Re: PTSD / FAMILY /REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND [Re: thecoopstah]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Coop;
The answers your looking for will not come easy my friend.
It's not all that unusual that your family or anybody else for that matter who is unable to comprehend the intricacies about Rape-Related P.T.S.D. Its not all simple and straight forward.
I'm truly sorry that your family doesn't take the initiative to try in part to understand your emotional set backs or even believe your past.
It seems strange that their not willing to concede your difficulties. I don't know if you ever sought the help of a psychologist or even a social worker trained in helping victims with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There is help out there even if it is limited if you look hard enough. It takes a hell of a lot of patience Coop.

I told my family five years ago when I started my recovery.
I spoke to my mother and two sisters about it.
They were very sympathetic and empathetic about it but, that's pretty well as far as it went. I've had to deal with my own triggers on my own. Coop; why not try asking the Mod Team how you might find help. I'm sure they can give you some good pointers.
I truly hope you find the peace your looking for.
Much Love...Chris



Edited by jcf1957 (03/26/08 09:14 AM)
_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#213180 - 03/26/08 09:36 AM Re: PTSD / FAMILY /REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND [Re: jcf1957]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
i'm already in therapy for the last 4 years...fuck my family i am all set with their ways and means to conveintly chose to have me in their life.

Oh well such is life....they can all go fuck themselves for all i care.

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#213232 - 03/26/08 12:43 PM Re: PTSD / FAMILY /REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND [Re: thecoopstah]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
All i know is the anger and disgust i feel when even close family shows blatantly obvious signs of, "Oh, i see- well, just adjust your behavior, so that we don't have to truly recognize or acknowledge the truth of your experience, seeing as how we can't handle it..."
Ha-ha-ha, sure, no problem; i only exist to maintain the fiction of a world which disallows true ugliness, right?

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#213256 - 03/26/08 02:04 PM Re: PTSD / FAMILY /REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND [Re: dgoods]
sweet-n-sour Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
Dear Coop:

When you said: " how it effects others yet they have no idea or even care why you're acting out only that they wish you'd just "STOP" being an %@!%!## or whats his problem." What exactly do you mean by acting out or being an @$%#%%?

Are we talking about anger? I have deep compassion for your struggles Coop, but I'm not one to handle angry people very enthusiastically. My father had borderline personality disorder and I spent my entire life tiptoeing around his issues. I trained myself not to walk to heavy, not to slam doors, not to breathe in the wrong direction...to become basically invisible because of HIS anger...it was his anger, not mine, not my siblings, not my mother's...he had ownership of this issue. I have sympathy for him but also resentment that he did not move heaven and earth to offer his family any sort of peace. My attitude was why and the heck should we all have to put up with his anger? We did nothing to deserve being the punching bag to his issues. There comes a point we all must take responsibility for how we behave regardless of the issues we are carrying within us...to find other ways of coping, to find better alternatives to express the deep pain we feel.

I am in no way defending your family Coop but I am questioning if maybe they are establishing normal boundaries to protect themselves from a similar pain. I hope I didn't go too far in saying this and if I've perhaps misunderstood what you meant regarding acting out or being an *&%$%, then I appologize.

When you said: "I have nothing to prove to anyone....yet i find myself looking for and expecting to be believed ....why i do this i may never know.but it hurts alot sometimes." I'm wondering if this is the true reason you react the way you do surrounding your family. The anger is a mask to the feelings you carry within, specifically hurt. We all wish to be understood or validated in the struggles we face...and family is supposed to love us without condition, right? The sad reality is in most families this fails to happen and we are all left feeling great pain as a result...we are left jumping through hoops for mere crumbs in return. The door opens one way and that seems to be facing away from us. I'm sorry I can not offer any answers to this, but I do hear you and feel for what you face in this struggle.

As always I wish you well and I am greatly impressed by your desire to make sense of the experiences you face.

Best wishes,
S-n-S

_________________________
"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."

cm 2007

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