I've always believe that communication, honesty, and loyalty are essential components to a valued relationship. Secure those three virtues with genuine LOVE, HUMILITY and FORGIVENESS and most relationships with last a lifetime. Perhaps you have to honestly ask yourself if your truly ready to pursue this bond of matrimony with this woman you love. Having this personal need to ("control") aspects of your relationship will never afford both of you true happiness. In the end one or both of you will end up with resentment towards one another. You said that you love and respect this woman and that your crazy about her. Then may I suggest you speak to her with your heart...not your head...but with your heart. Tell her honestly what you feel inside. You won't lose any of your masculinity. A woman wants to know what you feel about her inside her heart. Making your heart vulnerable so that she can see your true self is all that matters. Believe me, you will be a better man for doing so. Remember the three virtues I spoke about above and securing them with genuine love, humility, and forgiveness. If you can adopt these into your life you can be rest assured that the woman you love will love you more than your heart could ever desire. Hope this helps.
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.
Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.