After returning from the wedding in Utah Tim Cook took the white gold wedding ring back and wore it on his right hand until our supposed mutual birthdays. That was fine with me because I felt overwhelmed emotionally by the whole experience and about this new physical aspect of our relationship. I was grateful to put some distance back between us.

At roughly the same time my homosexual feelings and desires started to escalate, which caused me emotional suffering because I had no idea what I was going to do to overcome this problem and I did not completely understand why God had not taken this affliction from me yet. I had tried everything I knew to do and had been told to do: talking to Church leaders, fasting, prayer, therapy and aversion/shock therapy. I didnít really know what else to do or who else to turn to. Ironically I did not attribute any of my increased struggle with my homosexual feelings to having Tim in my life (a fact that in hind sight caused me years of shame and still causes me sadness for the young man I was). I mean I had a prominent married Mormon Church leader trying to hold me and kiss me and justifying this behavior with>
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You can't save your Ass and your Face at the same time. (Anonymous)

And given the choice I will save my ass first everytime(STC)