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#212691 - 03/24/08 11:35 AM Concerns About Survivor Stories
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
Having recently posted my own story in (Survivor Stories) has me asking myself if I really should have made the effort to write and publish my painful past for all to scrutinize. My disquietude is not with my afflicted brothers here at MaleSurvivors who for the most part collectively share a unique prospective on how each one of us feels about our own individual stigma. At the very least when I read somebody else's personal story I try to humbly put myself in their position, as difficult as that may be. I believe that every story written in Survivors Stories has a valued importance that can't be simply diminished or forsaken no matter how much pain is expressed. More importantly its the individual pain of the author that you can't see in between each typed letter of each personal rape story which cannot be discounted for.

In light of the fact that these Survivor Stories are made "public" for outsiders to view and scrutinize has me worried and upset. I can only imagine how many fucking perps or would perps get a real thrill reading these personal stories.
I wouldn't be damned surprised if they even used the painful de>
_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#212695 - 03/24/08 12:26 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: jcf1957]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
JCF,

I too have raised this concern in the past. Namely, "are we educating or entertaining perps with our stories?" I found, heard and later realized that there's really no way to tell for sure...short of asking a sample of perps.

So, I've had to look at the good that the stories do/did for me. That is, I came to see that I was not alone or unique in my horrific past.

Does the good out-weigh the potential abuse of these stories. Who can say?

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#212763 - 03/24/08 07:16 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi JCF,

This topic has come up a few times in the past. And we've wondered out loud as to whether we are providing a "training manual" of sorts to perps when we basically give them the modus operandi of what worked with us. Most people voiced their opinion that we're really not already telling a hard core perp somthing that he doesn't already know. While the minute details may be different, they already know the basics of luring and seducing a child. What I think is really important about the Survivor Stories is what you noted - it finally gives a voice to the survivor where he can say "This is what happened to me." And that's a really powerful thing.

_________________________
Eddie

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#212766 - 03/24/08 07:28 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: EGL]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Hey guys I understand the outrage and anger but I don't think the moderators had anything to do with this post. You know as well as I do that anyone can post anything here. When the mods get back to checking I am sure somethng will be done but get a grip guys. It is not as if MS.org is encouraging anyone to confess stuff. I have read the instructions and there is a clear warning for people who think they might be at risk for abusing and what to do and who to contact. OK?? Cut them some slack.


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#213072 - 03/25/08 08:23 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: Freedom49]
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
JCF,

You might want to consider becoming a paying member if you are able.

THere is a "Survivors Story" form in the members forum that is away from the public eye.

I think MS has scholarship money for survivors who don't have the funds to become a paying member.

Soemthing to think about.

-Jim

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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#213088 - 03/25/08 09:00 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: healing_inside]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Maybe I'm just overly optimistic and want to think that anyone can change. IF a perp was to read any of these stories, I would hope that he/she would come away with a feeling of how much pain they caused in someone elses life. The scars they left us with have long lasting effects and take an extraordinary effort on a survivor's part to overcome and heal.

This is the cyberspace. We don't know for a certainty who is visiting here. There are forums that are for members only where there is a bit more scrutiny of who is viewing for anyone who is uncomfortable with the prospect of anyone at all viewing their posts.

I can only hope that any perp who visits this site will realize just what kind of devastation they've left behind in the lives of their victims. And I hope that with that realization they will seek help so that they will no longer prey on the innocents.

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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#213144 - 03/26/08 01:39 AM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: Stephen_5]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Perps have a lot more easier places to go to "get off." The internet is full of places where they DON'T have to sneak. With all that's available on the 'net, they really don't need to come here and read stories.

I wouldn't worry too much...

Just my thoughts..:)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#213238 - 03/26/08 12:58 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: AndyJB2005]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
jcf,

this is indeed an issue that has come up in the past - the others here have already answered it as well as I possibly could - if having your story open to the public is really bothering you I would recomend becomeing a paying member of the site and posting your story on the members side where it is not searchable by the public

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#214078 - 03/29/08 11:05 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: TJ jeff]
jcf1957 Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/11/07
Posts: 192
Loc: North Of The 49th Parallel
TJ;
My point in writing this was only to voice concerns.
As far as having any real fears of some perp reading my survivor story; hey the perp can get his balls off all he wants.
I really don't give a fiddler's fuck who reads it.
As far as the perp is concerned. I'd like to castrate his mother-fucking balls, rip his arms off and beat him with the wet end. Thankfully though were all a little more civil in this neck of the woods.
Are Survivor Stories just dead-beat stories or do they have genuine meaning to people hear on this site.
Don't get me wrong I'm not mad at anybody here.
In the likely event of another newcomer becoming a guest or member of M.S. and writing a similar post like the one I started here; is it just going to become another boring same all, same all ? I think every respective Survivor Story no matter who the author is deserves more than that. Frankly as far as I'm concerned I've already received a satisfactory answer to my original query.

_________________________
No affliction nor temptation, no guilt nor power of sin, no wounded spirit nor terrified conscious should induce us to despair comfort from God.

Today well lived...makes every tomorrow a vision of Hope.
Anonymous

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#214090 - 03/29/08 11:50 PM Re: Concerns About Survivor Stories [Re: jcf1957]
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
Hi JCF ...

My survivor stories were written for me, to aid my recovery process and in that respect they have helped enormously,
I couldn't care less if a perp comes along and reads it,
my concern is that it is there for me primarily, but also for any newcomer to MS to make a connection with.

I have had a few PM's from newcomers who have idenitified with my survivor posts, it's a great opportunity for someone to make the first step towards healing, to PM a survivor who will hopefully guide him thru what to expect from MS and how to proceed. Or vice versa ... for an experienced survivor to connect with a newcomers story, and maybe PM them to offer a friendly word of encouragement.

I think therein lies the value of the public survivor forum.
It's about making connections and helping one another thru this.

_________________________
Keep Smilin'
arronb

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