I know it's scary, but you are right to be asking the questions. Asking when we do not yet have any guarantee of the answers - that is true courage. And in the end it will see you through to the peace you seek.
I wish I had had this reply in my head when you first wrote this. It's strange how one day a poem just stumps me entirely, while later I think I know exactly what I need to say.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)