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#212609 - 03/23/08 09:57 PM Re: Can women join? [Re: awakening]
menspeakout Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/05/08
Posts: 36
Kiota,

Thank you for respecting the forum and it's members enough to put forward this question. I would have to agree however, that if you do not have a direct relationship with a male survivor that this is not an appropriate forum for you. My wife is a survivor of CSA and rape and works in the field as you do. She is also directly connected to several male survivors, however she shares my feelings on having a safe forum for men to speak with men. There are plenty of safe and secure forums for woman and I would encourage you to use your experience as a survivor and social worker on those forums.

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#212635 - 03/23/08 11:10 PM Re: Can women join? [Re: menspeakout]
johnnymike Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/08/08
Posts: 51
Loc: Central Ohio
When I was looking for a site for help I first found a site primarily for women. It was a good site but did not address my needs. Then I found MS and I am learning a lot from the men here. Part of my comfort in sharing is due to the site being for men. I would like it to remain that way.


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#212685 - 03/24/08 10:43 AM Re: Can women join? [Re: johnnymike]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Quote:
Wouldn't PMing someone in response to something they posted on the male-only boards defeat the purpose though?


Not at all. This condition is part of the rules of the site, not just for you, but for all women who post here. Many of the men post/read in only the male forums as they are looking for support from their male brothers, without interference from us. It is a matter of safety and comfort for the men that women are restricted to only certain portions of the site.

As you can see from some of the above responses, many of the guys are comfortable interacting with women, others are not and since this is a site primarily for men, their wishes must be respected.

Please pm me if you're unsure of something and I'll be happy to guide you.

ROCK ON.........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#212797 - 03/24/08 08:29 PM Re: Can women join? [Re: Trish4850]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Hey Trish, just a clarification, is the malesurvivor forum even available to woman. Can they see it and read and are asked not to post or does it not even show up in their list.

What about the members side for yourself?

Mike



Edited by mogigo (03/24/08 08:30 PM)
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#212915 - 03/25/08 07:35 AM Re: Can women join? [Re: mogigo]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Hi Mike,

The public forums are viewable by everyone who comes here. The member forums are another story. The F&F can't see the malesurvivor forum and the malesurvivors can't see the F&F forum on that side. As a Mod, I do have access to all of the forums, but just like on the public side, I respect the guidelines and don't post openly to you guys. Not that I haven't made a mistake every now and again, but the rules apply to me as well.

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#235422 - 07/03/08 08:05 AM Re: Can women join? [Re: Kiota]
bgd Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 17
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Kiota,

As a male member, I appreciate your concern and intentions.
However, I agree with "Awakening". It is hard to trust women, and Awakening described it very well.
I find it very interesting that you want to join this site. About 6 months ago, not long after I started therapy, I saw a community interest story in the local paper. It was a female therapist offering art therapy classes to sexual assault victims.
The article did not stipulate that it was exclusive to any gender, so I rang up and made an appointment to meet her. When I met her, she seemed a little cold, but anyway, I thought that was just me being me. She told me that the class only had women in it at this stage, and she would ask them for a vote on how they felt about a male joining. So she said she would call me back. I had my hopes up so high that this would be something positive I could do to aid my recovery.
But unfortunately, she never bothered, and to my amazement, I found that she is a therapist at the clinic I go to.
I'm not sure if I am making sense here, but it is very difficult.
Let me say in addition that I would not mind if you were a member - I don't want this to be a gender war (which is what I feel I am in most days)
I think a female perspective can be very helpul, so perhaps people who are saying that there are specific places that you can comment, are on the right track.
I hope you don't take offence, I am only trying to put my perspective across.


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#235433 - 07/03/08 09:44 AM Re: Can women join? [Re: bgd]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
As long as you stick to the appropriate forums, I have no problem with you here.

\:\)

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