Hey, Andrei -
*disclaimer* This will not be THE post.
No big answer here, but know that I and others are traveling the lonely road with you.
I woke up late last night--just thinking about the kind things people say about me and how I don't believe them, though I know they are all sincerely meant. I was thinking about the ways I project that I don't know what I'm doing, the ways I sell myself short.
Why does everyone get to enjoy the wonderful people we are except us? Why can't we see the beauty, talent, intelligence, courage and wisdom that other people know are in us?
Andrei, if I could lend you my reading eyes for a day, you'd see so much in yourself. The feeling of "less than" is very real, but it's not reality. We carry around a distorted mirror that filters out all the good stuff when we look into it. I don't know how to fix my mirror, but I do know that I need to trust other people when they keep on reflecting a good guy. I hope to see that guy myself someday.
You've been traveling for a long time--being on the road is bound to stir up feelings of not belonging--having no home base. We're with you there, though--borrow our mirrors for a while.