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#211910 - 03/20/08 04:30 PM Visiting Family
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I'm going to pick up my Brother and hid family (sister in law & niece) at the air port for 5:30est. I'm going to introduce him to this site since he was involved with the same people when I was 16-17. I hope that he may find some answers or at least get some new understanding of what happened. I'm sure I was not the only victim. But if he is not ready I'll understand. We will see how it goes. He will be here a week so we got time for this \:o I just hope it goes well. It's been a taboo subject in the past so it will not be easy.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#211915 - 03/20/08 04:53 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: GateKPR4]
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Ricky,

Try not to let your expectations get too high. I didn't start dealing with my CSA until 38 years later. Everyone deals with it in their own time. Just take good care of you.

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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#211956 - 03/20/08 08:18 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: Stephen_5]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ricky,

Can I suggest a few things you can tell him?

1) He's not alone.
2) It wasn't his fault.
3) An abused boy doesn't just "get over it".
4) There is no shame in feeling hurt.
5) There is no schedule or timetable except his.
6) You are there for him whenever he is able to talk about it, and so are we.

My first thought is don't campiang with him. Just let him know these points and keep it simple. Let him see the door is open if he wants to walk through it.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#211966 - 03/20/08 08:40 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: roadrunner]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
My thoughts are with you Ricky. Be gentle. Be there. Be a brother. Be strong.


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#211970 - 03/20/08 08:52 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: Freedom49]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
I think introducing him to the site is great... he may not be ready yet, but when he is, we'll be here for him.

Wish you luck and strength
Dan

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#212220 - 03/21/08 11:13 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: dannym]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
First of all thanks for the support and input guys. We delved into the subject as we had an afternoon together. I showed him the site and disclosed my prior abuse to him. I also showed him my movie. It was a welcome approach to this slightly taboo issue and all went well. Although he suffered some it was nothing near what I and been through and I believe he was being honest and true about this situation with the cult leader. SO we got some closure and have enjoyed the time so have had this far \:D

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#212225 - 03/21/08 11:52 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: GateKPR4]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Ricky I am so glad it went so well. I am glad he received your disclosure so well. I hope this brings you closer as brothers. I have wished so many times I wish I had a brother. Considering what happened to me it is probably best that I had a sister instead.


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#212238 - 03/22/08 06:20 AM Re: Visiting Family [Re: Freedom49]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Rick,

I am glad your visit is going well and you are enjoying their stay. It took a lot of courage to talk to your bother like you did. Maybe this will open the door for future discussion.

Dan


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#212255 - 03/22/08 10:45 AM Re: Visiting Family *DELETED* [Re: DanM]
awakening Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/08
Posts: 342
Post deleted by awakening


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#212374 - 03/22/08 10:16 PM Re: Visiting Family [Re: awakening]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Thanks for all guys \:\)
wasn't long ago this would never have been possible. Now its reality and it is a good feeling to know I have the support I do.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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