we are all swingers.
and however tenaciously we cling to whatever tenuous connection we have to the unknown fulcrum, the friction and tension will increase in proportion to the amplitude and frequency of the arc of the pendulum, the suspended object's mass, and the fulcrum's distance. as force increases, so does resistance.
too much and SNAP! something has to give.
i used to love my highs and lows, but through the years, through the natural processes of erosion, evolution, adaptation, experience and external pressure...
i believe that i have become emotionally compressed. the cliffs and walls have vanished, the peaks and valleys have levelled out. all i see is rolling hills.
prior to parenting, i will admit that i was able to adjust, channel, consequently indulge and accommodate my extreme mood swings into an "eccentric punk rock artist" image and did not pay any heed to social consequences. i could package any feeling into a product, no matter how ugly. the market exists, and there was always a demand for my endless supply, no matter how small.
this arrangement was convenient for decades, until i became convinced to reassess the values i was promoting and portraying for the sake of my own children. the led to some welcome changes; changes i did not even know i was ready for.
my pendulum still swings.
but my point is fixed, more solid than ever, and i no longer fear letting go or losing momentum.