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#211870 - 03/20/08 12:14 PM Re: epiphanies [Re: cbfull]
dgoods Offline

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
just posting anything at all is a good sign...
at least you still care enough to talk!
the three hardest words for me to say have always been "i need help".
you feel how you feel, and letting someone, anyone else know- can be very hard.
Thanks for posting.

Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

#212385 - 03/22/08 11:01 PM Re: epiphanies [Re: dgoods]
MarkK Offline

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2567
Loc: Denver, CO
Chapter 2.

sometimes it's ok to give up

#212388 - 03/22/08 11:11 PM Re: epiphanies [Re: MarkK]
SuperTramp7981 Offline

Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Massachusetts
The world will keep on turning can't stop it, no use trying.....

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfil de book.

Chat Name-Lparsons

#212390 - 03/22/08 11:16 PM Re: epiphanies [Re: MarkK]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC

That is all so true. Just this week I had a "I give up" day. I woke up form a horrible nightmare and simply could not get to work. I accepted that this was a part of my healing process and managed to sleep some more and get in to see my T and talk about what was going on. By not attacking myself for feeling bad I was actually able to find the strength to do something productive about it. The next day I felt sufficiently better to go to work.

The biggest epiphany I had this week (in my session with my T after the nightmare actually) was that all those people who told me at 5 years old that I had to modify my behavior were wrong. There was nothing wrong with the way I behaved at 5 years old (or subsequently ever). I had unstoppable tantrums because I was living in unacceptable circumstances that I had no power to change. I couldn't make appropriate social connections because I had no one in my life to teach me those skills. Instead all I received were messages that I had to change my behavior. There was nothing wrong with me. That's a pretty big one for me right now.

"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

#212571 - 03/23/08 07:49 PM Re: epiphanies [Re: tartugas]
MarkK Offline

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2567
Loc: Denver, CO
Chapter 3

You can't do it alone. But the kicker - you can't trust anyone to help you.


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