Tinel,
You feel this way, so yes, it's best to let it out. I hear you and I'm listening. Maybe you should pursue this a bit and see where it takes you.
But how old were you when this happened? Have you asked yourself what you could have done - in real terms - to stop the rape? Probably the answer is "nothing". You were a defenseless child. You are not to blame for the crimes of others.
Much love,
Larry
_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)