Newest Members
JimHouston42, GKB, MorganWut, myrlin, AaronS
12466 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
BobdaFarmer61 (53), LeeM1974 (40), MATROS48 (57), victor valdez (40)
Who's Online
5 registered (thedudeabides, Bluedogone, 3 invisible), 38 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12466 Members
74 Forums
64012 Topics
446746 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#211555 - 03/18/08 08:34 PM A Little Time
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Different now.....life
Gone, the anguish of remembering

Confusion

What to do

The room is empty
No more ghosts
Dust settles on the floor
Sunbeams, a few, come in through the small slits in the top of the room, where before there was only darkness
The child kicks at the dust with his foot

There is a ladder
A small one leading out
And, yet, he does not climb there
Unsure that leaving the well-known room is the thing to do
The thing that will lead him where he needs to go

Healing

Yes, healing will come
But am I ready?
Am I ready to be healed
I have only just received the final blow
The final blade into my heart
Must I heal so soon?
God, I'm tired
Let me rest a bit
Let me sleep before the next journey begins
Sure it hurts
The last memory, the worst of all
But I want to feel it more
Need to feel it more
It is after all, the memory
The one around which all others swirled
The bottom of the whirlpool of blackness and pain
Let me feel it
Make it real
I've waited seven years to know

Funny how I need it now
Funny how it is the truth I've searched for for so long
That I cannot seem to let it go
A puzzle, finally understood, that I cannot now put down


The boy will sit a while I think
Remembering the terror of the room
(Remembering how he came each night to take him)
And gradually climb out, without ever looking back
He's lived there now these sixty years or so
So hard to give it up
So hard to be a man now
To join the man he has become
To change him
For that's what will surely happen
He will be changed as the past is understood

They do not lie who say to keep the faith: that eventually you'll know the truth
The ones who say be patient with yourself
You'll know when you are ready
Now I know
Now I understand

But, give me just a little time
The road has been a long one
A little rest is all I ask
A little time alone for the boy in his old room
Before we take up our journey once again



_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




Top
#211583 - 03/18/08 11:55 PM Re: A Little Time [Re: Bobby]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Bobby that was so moving that picture that scene. My memories are gone still and I am not sure I want them but if they come I too will face them and feel them. I will probably also need to rest after that before I move on unless God spared me those memories. I will cherish this poem though. Thanks


Top
#211773 - 03/19/08 10:13 PM Re: A Little Time [Re: Bobby]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Bobby,

Originally Posted By: Bobby
But, give me just a little time
The road has been a long one
A little rest is all I ask
A little time alone for the boy in his old room
Before we take up our journey once again

Take all the time you need, my friend. You are not on anyone else's clock and you have no schedule to meet. When we say "I need a bit of time" that's an important message; "I'm not ready" so often means "I don't feel safe enough to do this yet". One think we don't need is new pain and trauma - take your time, Bobby, and keep Little Bobby safe.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.