Newest Members
Aurigny, Luther, LuckyCharm, Jennifer Lyons, TantraPunk
12250 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Brandon (23), doctorfrau (51), dwigginsr (55), Glen (43), RFB (58)
Who's Online
4 registered (woodenshoes, 3 invisible), 46 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12250 Members
73 Forums
63101 Topics
441285 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#211663 - 03/19/08 10:34 AM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
"If we hang out with ppl who have those qualities they tend to bring out those qualities in us."

roger,
haha yeah that's true but its funny, i think about the guys here and sometimes i go "wtf. im different then guys here" part of me wants to believe that. i think some of the guys here are the company i should be keeping, but i also think that i should be able to function in any crowd. sometimes i cant pick the crowd i run with. sure i can pick my friends. but not coworkers and all that. i dont know. maybe im just making up excuses.


Top
#211670 - 03/19/08 11:15 AM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I think part of self worth is what you have to offer in life. Helping others is part of that. I think you have done this Jarrad.
You may have different views on some tings but that is what makes places like this work. We are not robots and you have helped may of us see things for what they are, and not what we perceive them to be. That is valuable and add to self worth. just my 2 cents \:\)

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

Top
#211695 - 03/19/08 01:31 PM Re: self worth [Re: GateKPR4]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Jarrad I think because of your history you may have gotten into the habit of being what you think the "crowd" or ppl your with want you to be. It definately helped you in many situations to be successuful in whatever was required of you at the moment. The trouble is that once we get into pattern of being that way it is very hard to find and return to our "Center" of who we really are or want to be.

I found that true in my case. I had to really dig into my heart to find and return to what and who I really wanted to be and be known as. That was very hard for me and I had to eventually drop some people from my circle of friends as they tended not to understand and try to pull me back to my cameleon like ways which served me so well when I was in a different place mentally and didn't care.



Edited by Freedom49 (03/19/08 01:34 PM)

Top
#211700 - 03/19/08 01:54 PM Re: self worth [Re: Freedom49]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
One part of me claims to believe that every human being is of infinite value and worth, that a person's self-worth is inherent and unalieable from his very identity, and that no measure can be applied to it. Since we are all (presumably) human, we are all of infinite value.

The other part of me then tells me, "You are nothing but an animated sack of meat that will in the not-too-distant future decay into putrescence. You came from nothing, you'll return to nothing, you are nothing. You have no talents or skills and no one really likes you. Everyone else is better than you in every conceivable way. You're worthless and always will be."

Interesting how the positive voice is impersonal and reported speech while the negative voice is personal and quoted.

There was a Chasidic rebbe who used to keep a scrap of paper in his right pocket on which he had written "I am but dust and ashes." In his left pocket, he wrote "For my sake the universe was created." In this way, he maintained a proper perspective. When he felt bad, he'd reach into the left pocket and read the paper; when he felt good, he'd reach into the right pocket.

Intellectually, I can hold both concepts in my mind. Emotionally, I seem to have a hole in my left pocket...

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

Top
#211703 - 03/19/08 02:16 PM Re: self worth [Re: VLinvictus]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
self worth is intermittent for me as well. I've come to the conclusion though - despite someone else's efforts to put me down and keep me down I will no longer abide by that artificial position - even though I may feel the effects of it. Push forward. I am not sure I feel so special all the time - in fact -I never used to. I think though - feeling ok about yourself sometimes is a good sign - having faith - through the cement of bad times - is good too.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#211752 - 03/19/08 08:46 PM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
How good-looking i am, or how charming i can be, has always meant nothing terribly good or important to me... the first i have never had any control over, and has been a source of discomfort at best; the second has always been a matter of survival, and nothing more- nothing to do with who i AM. When i feel cold, uncaring, and determined to teach the ignorant by means of an object lesson on how to get by, i revert to behaviors that exemplify "survival by any means neccessary".
There is more to life than winning the game presented to us by the most selfish among us; at least those i admire seem to teach such a lesson, and not the one taught by those who abuse.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

Top
#211783 - 03/19/08 10:44 PM Re: self worth [Re: dgoods]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jarrad,

Well done. You're on your way.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#211853 - 03/20/08 09:34 AM Re: self worth [Re: roadrunner]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
"There was a Chasidic rebbe who used to keep a scrap of paper in his right pocket on which he had written "I am but dust and ashes." In his left pocket, he wrote "For my sake the universe was created." In this way, he maintained a proper perspective. When he felt bad, he'd reach into the left pocket and read the paper; when he felt good, he'd reach into the right pocket."

thats a really neat story.

see its funny. i can confrom to pretty much anything people need. i picked up these skills from abuse, but i dont know if its a bad thing. but i do it so often i have no idea what is my authentic self. so i can sit on the boards here and post about wahtever and i get brownie points for using the quailities that were discussed before. and everyone says "good job jarrad." but do i mean it, or am i just playing you all? am i doing it just because i want to be preceived in another way, or do i really mean it.


Top
#211857 - 03/20/08 10:12 AM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Well, only you know that.


Top
#211858 - 03/20/08 10:14 AM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Sometimes i think of myself as being not too different from a "street crazy", in the sense of, "Well, maybe my words may not not be readily understandable, or always directly relevant, but at least i'm still here, and trying to communicate with others".
Even if the majority of people never make it past the "dog and pony show" that is as natural as breathing to me, i have found that there's at least one or two who care enough, and are intelligent enough, to outwait the antics, and give the message of, "when you're finally too tired to worry about what i think, and realize you can't scare me off, maybe then- you'll find that true friends aren't just a fantasy for fools."
The scariest thing in the world for me can be the idea that people might think the real me is worth something...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

Top
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.