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#211369 - 03/17/08 11:16 PM self worth
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
how do you determine self worth? i was talking to a guy tonight and he was saying that there is a lot about me that makes me special. and i automatically think in terms of (and im not trying to be cocky) but in terms of my good looks, that i am able to function day to day at work. that i have a great hot job. but he was saying that it is beyond that and i just dont understand what he means. i think everyone knows i was first involved with porn then prositution. so for me.. your worth is your body. its about using it to make money. and using it to get what you want. what then was he talking about? how do "normal" people see themselves? and im not trying to come off shallow... i just really am interested.


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#211370 - 03/17/08 11:26 PM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
ok - give me a second to stop grinning (trying not to be cocky) ...
ok ok ok - sorry - but i couldn't let that one pass...

from what i hear from others a "normal" view of self worth comes with:
* respect from your peers
* honor
* trustworthy - someone who sticks with his friends
* honest

from what little i know of you from here, Jarrad, i'd say you are a person of worth. i believe if i ask you a question about something that truly matters to me - you will give it an honest "heart-felt" answer.

the real trick, however, seems to be the "self" part of self worth. i understand what others see in me as "worth" - but seeing it myself ... just not there yet.

m


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#211384 - 03/18/08 12:31 AM Re: self worth [Re: MarkK]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Jarrad,
To me self worth means not just how I look or what I own, or who I am with, or what I do for a living. All that is superficial and temporary and will eventually change. SELF worth to me is that I am honest with others, that I have character, morala, ethic and behavior that is healthy and beneficial not only to my mental and emotional and spiritual well being but also to those I come in contact wtih. Am I someone other people would trust? Am I someone they could confide in and be assured I would keep that confidence? Will I be trustworthy, honorable, loyal to my ethics not just today but 10 or 20 years from today even? Am I someone they can depend on to keep my word no matter what?
These to me are a part of my self worth. Things, attributes that I can take pride in and feel good about.
To me this is self worth. I hope that helps.


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#211442 - 03/18/08 10:25 AM Re: self worth [Re: Freedom49]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
respect from your peers
honor
trustworthy - someone who sticks with his friends
honest
character
moral
ethic

okay so thats the list between you guys. feel free to add anything that i missed. my question is then, how do you get all that. or if i already have it, how do i use those instead of my default thinking


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#211443 - 03/18/08 10:35 AM Re: self worth [Re: Jarrad]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11078
Loc: Denver, CO
"how do i use those instead of my default thinking"

You may already be utilizing many of these, but simply haven't received the feedback indicating so. For me, people would tell me positive feedback over the years, and I was like "Really??"

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#211446 - 03/18/08 11:04 AM Re: self worth [Re: FormerTexan]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Jarrad I have seen you use some of them here in your posts. I think hanging out with us here on the board, hanging out with people who also value these things brings out those things in each of us. I think we tend to blend with the company we keep sometimes. If we hang out with ppl who have those qualities they tend to bring out those qualities in us. Hate to admit it but Mom was right. I am known by the company I keep.


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#211447 - 03/18/08 11:13 AM Re: self worth [Re: Freedom49]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
I'm up for the Jarrad challenge... if yer gayme
(Jarrad? challenging?)
\:\)
anytime I am in yer cyber presence, if I read you demonstrating things that are important for you being self aware of
I will be honoured to bring to your attention
I think we need others to point things out to us because the truth of it is
some of our qualities are second nature & maybe even taken for granted

Reading the compiled list & from my knowledge of you I know
bringing things to your attention may be easier for me than for you to hear J
let me know if you want a compliment or self worth quality warning mon!

what happened to us was bad
but we were always good
therefore
you are a good man Jarrad

Craig



Edited by ineffable (03/18/08 11:24 AM)
_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#211519 - 03/18/08 05:12 PM Re: self worth [Re: ineffable]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
my guess is you may be in roughly the same spot i am - i find i use those "qualities" all the time - when in respect to others. the REAL issue (for me anyhoo) is finding a way to use them and allow others to use them to me

and there, i'm afraid, all i can say is i'm still workin on it ...

m


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#211539 - 03/18/08 07:09 PM Re: self worth [Re: MarkK]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
MarkK
That your working on it, that you understand it, that you appreciate it, says good things about your character and self worth to me. It should to you also.


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#211560 - 03/18/08 09:16 PM Re: self worth [Re: Freedom49]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
challenge accepted craig.


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