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#214847 - 04/02/08 04:18 PM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: king tut]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Dogs are great. They always seem to know what we need. Like doggy telepathy. Give him a puppy hug for me.


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#215508 - 04/05/08 05:04 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: Freedom49]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
feeling positive

got myself into a good zone last night, could feel it wasn't a very permanent zone, like a humming car that your glad is running but are conscious could stall any second

i started writing a story and the characters let me go somewhere more certain

i have bulbs for my lamp now, and got up at a reasonable time, ate well yesterday, prepared for bed early so got at least 3 hours solid sleep, even just had breakfast!

think i really grasped the idea of 'progressing' last night, it means 'implementing', i knew that of course before, but more so i think it means finding a zone, i'll lose it, but there is a zone i think

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#215523 - 04/05/08 08:55 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: king tut]
des6263 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/15/06
Posts: 137
Loc: midwest, US
Hey King Tut, Did you try the melatonin?

Hope you get this under control.

Peace
David

_________________________
May the Flames of Truth Burn Bright

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#215549 - 04/05/08 11:44 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: des6263]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
no, i don't like buying stuff over the internet so i went to this place where there is a health shop that sells stuff like that, run by some chinese people, but found they have closed down and been replaced by a clothes shop, it has been in my mind though, and will look into it further if this persists, i just bought lots of different kinds of tea today, i know caffeine keeps you up but i really do like tea lol, mostly drink normal tea but some tea is really relaxing, like green tea (reminds me of tibetan monks for some reason?- although i think they drink butter-tea) and camomille tea is really relaxing, i've also bought some blackbery tea because blackberrys reminds me of when i used to go blackberry picking with my grandfather and it just makes me smile

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#277799 - 03/01/09 07:05 PM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
pffff, what to do? try going to sleep? i dont know, it is midnight now, i didnt do my homework, i guess i will do it tomorrow night. i will drink lots of coffee and do it tomorrow night even though i will be tired. im annoyed that i didnt do my homework, really annoyed, totally my fault, but i will do it tomorrow night.

i think going to sleep now is too early, i feel more tired if i go to bed too early, and i feel more sluggish in the morning.

i dont know what i should do though, maybe find a dvd to watch? that might be ok. i watched a really rubbish film today, and it was long, so that has really annoyed me, what a complete waste of my time. i have to learn how to use my time better, i should have just turned it off when i could see how rubbish it was instead of watching it to the end just for the sake of it.

i could get things ready for university, or could actually do my homework, but i really dont feel like it. it will be really hard and it will take ALL night and i wont end up sleeping at all, and that will be even worse, i guess.

i havent really done any homework this weekend, its been more of a reflecting weekend that was over before it began. when they ask me what work i got up to on the weekend in university i will just make something up, i hate it how they are so judgemental- really gets on my nerves, you know, even if it is my friends, what business of it is theirs. i can do what ever i like, and it doesnt make me bad if i dont do any work, i have time to do my work. my homework doesnt have to be in until wednesday this week, and all my other homework doesn't have to be in until next week i think- although sure there is alot of it so i have to get it done before this week is over, so i dont have to worry myself, i just have to be careful, pace myself, plan carefully, use my time carefully. none of this is anything to do with the title of the thread is it? but it is good to babble on anyway, kind of relaxing, i must have alot going on in my mind right now, maybe that is why i cant sleep, or why i dont want to sleep, like i dont deserve to sleep, because i havent done enough today to warrant sleep. sometimes i think im better if i dont sleep actually, because i try to focus more. well ok, one thing i will do is plan to dedicate my time carefully this week, and not waste next weekend like i wasted this weekend.

ok, i promise to be more dedicated to my work next week- you see that, that is a promise, so i will keep to that and get lots done next week

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#277880 - 03/01/09 11:17 PM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: king tut]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Hey,

Here are some facts about sleep:

1) The record for the longest period without sleep is 18 days, 21 hours, 40 minutes during a rocking chair marathon. The record holder reported hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory and concentration lapses.

2) Seventeen hours of sustained wakefulness leads to a decrease in performance equivalent to a blood alcohol-level of 0.05%.

3) Exposure to noise at night can suppress immune function even if the sleeper doesn’t wake. Unfamiliar noise, and noise during the first and last two hours of sleep, has the greatest disruptive effect on the sleep cycle.

Here is a link that contains 40 facts about sleep.

http://www.abc.net.au/science/sleep/facts.htm

_________________________
I am the warrior.

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#277888 - 03/02/09 12:15 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: Letourski]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6712
Loc: USA
Sleep has always been a big issue to me as a survivor of CSA.

As a child, I seemed to have a lot of that inherent hormone or whatever it is that helps most children sleep. Yet I know I was troubled by severe dreams. By the time I arrived at Uni, I would try to stay up late to get my work done. I would arise to attend class feeling quite miserable. I overheard another perceptive student at the breakfast table comment that I was groaning as I sat there. Yet I was quite unaware of my adverse dream life because it was so intolerable to my conscious mind that it was suppressed. I have only recently figured out that the reason I made much better grades during summer session was that I could sleep late. My brain could function better because of getting more sleep.

When I entered into the recovery phase of my lifespan, I became aware of a lot of things I had hidden from myself since childhood, including dreams and flashbacks. I am just beginning to understand that since bed was where I was abused mostly, going to bed at night presents me with all sorts of problems. I tended to have flashbacks and body memories of abuse just because of the fact that I had plopped my corpus in bed.

I have been wrongly advised by books and T's that when I go to bed I need to have nothing else to do there, such as read, etc. But I believe this is bad advice for me. Since bed was the place of abuse, just being there is a source of triggering memories and flashbacks. When I go to bed I have to read something really interesting to occupy my little mind until I get so sleepy that I will fall asleep without having these body memories pop up. Actually I read comforing Psalms until I get sleepy. Getting plenty of exercise during the day also helps normal sleep.

Some CSA survivors sleep better in a comfortable recliner chair that doesn't remind them (subconsciously) of being in bed. Those memories tend to crop up simply because of being in bed. Even having some kind of a soft noise-maker or tv or radio music seems to keep the brain from getting trapped into those roller-coaster dreams that are destructive to our sleep.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#277895 - 03/02/09 01:44 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: pufferfish]
Brother B+ Offline


Registered: 02/19/09
Posts: 16
Loc: France
I, too, have a lot of trouble with going to bed at night. I am frequently troubled by either fear or anxiety (sometimes I even leave a candle burning so as not to be totally in the dark, and I am 42 years old!) or tortured by night sweats and nightmares.

I was also abused at night, when my mom worked and my dad would be home alone with me and my sister. He used to make me go to bed naked after my shower/bath so that I would be ready for him. For a long time, I had trouble getting undressed for bed, and even now if there is someone with whom I am sharing a room, I have a lot of fear and shame about getting undressed and going to bed.

I hadn't heard that a noise maker or radio helps with nightmares. I have to check it out!

_________________________
"Blessed are those who mourn, they shall be comforted"
St Matthew 5:5

Sometimes I think milk and cookies are the ultimate comfort food!

Brother B+ Story

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#277901 - 03/02/09 05:38 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: Brother B+]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Well Brother,

I'm soon to be fifty two and until very recently I had to sleep with a light on! And I still sleep with the TV on, it's the only thing that I have found that keeps the nightmares at bay - in spite of all the different drugs the medical profession keeps trying to fill me up with - it's the TV that prevents my nightmares.

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#277915 - 03/02/09 10:00 AM Re: Bedtime Rules for little children [Re: king tut]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Originally Posted By: king tut

5) we're usually told to grow out of night-lights, but night-lights are better than nightmares!


My father could never understand the need for a nightlight. He would always tell me there's no reason to be afraid of the dark. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't afraid of the dark, I was afraid of what's IN the dark...but he never seemed to get it.

Originally Posted By: king tut
and now i found a study about sleep and childhood sexual abuse, they used results from 147 FEMALES, they used 147 people and it seems it didn't even occur to then to include any MALES, that is annoying, i don't know how different their results would have been, but that is just annoying dont you think?


It is not annoying at all, to me. Abuse is abuse is abuse. If females are as capable as males of suffering PTSD, anxiety, depression, and all manner of other mental difficulties and disorders as a result of CSA, they're capable of suffering the same sleep disruptions. What were the results of the study?

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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