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#210947 - 03/15/08 11:22 PM Being Alone
MDR Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 48
I just want to live a quiet life and not be bothered sometimes. I wish I could live in a log cabin and do handy work in a small town. I don't know why. I think its because I still want to runaway from my feelings. Not doing well right now. My brain is cloudy. I was doing well for a while. Maybe its just a bump in the road today. I hope you guys are doing well.


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#210950 - 03/15/08 11:31 PM Re: Being Alone [Re: MDR]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I understand MDR .......this would be a great life it it wasn't for the people sometimes. Other times I am so glad to have them. I am glad your here too. Thank for the post.


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#210962 - 03/16/08 12:50 AM Re: Being Alone [Re: Freedom49]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
There is a noble and sentimental cord stuck in me that finds a great deal of respect for someone who chooses such a life, and many have done it. The mountain men who pioneered much of the West and Alaska and Canada, many of them lived such a life. Living off the land and cut off from civilization and living a solitary life. I can understand why some of them would like it. It's not for me though.

MDR, do you REALLY want to be left alone? Or perhaps you might simply wish to only be around certain types of people? And what do you mean by "run away from your feelings"? How the heck do you do that by living in isolation? I'm not sure exactly what you're getting at.


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#210973 - 03/16/08 01:37 AM Re: Being Alone [Re: Hauser]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
MDR,

Trust me, running doesn't help... it just delays the pain.

I have spent many years running from my past, and all it got me was very long resume' and employers who wondered if I could be trusted to stick with a job.

Stop and face the pain now, and the remainder of your life will be yours. Then you can go to an isolated mountian village and not worry about anything catching up to you.

Luv ya,
Carl

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#210995 - 03/16/08 07:37 AM Re: Being Alone [Re: Scoutvictim]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I always wanted a log cabin and just live a peaceful life in a small town. but it never came to pass. I can really relate MDR.
I like to do wood working and handy work and I kind of get down when I look at where I am and where I had hoped to be. The good thing is that I still have some time left on this earth and maybe one day I will have a log cabin and won't have all the issues with the csa that I do now. Its a nice thought \:\)

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#210997 - 03/16/08 07:41 AM Re: Being Alone [Re: GateKPR4]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
MDR-----------------hoping you get over this------------------bump-------------------they can be tough--------------------------steve


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#211035 - 03/16/08 11:09 AM Re: Being Alone [Re: sabata]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
In my case I ran for over 40 some years. I hid my first l4 yrs of life away and the secret was mine to keep for ever. Then the CSA came out and now I am dealing with it. Boy, it sure is not easy, but I vowed I will nvever go back to the old ways "acting out" ways ever again. If I do, I am not worthy for thie world. This word will be far better off w/out me in it.


Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#211066 - 03/16/08 03:09 PM Re: Being Alone [Re: KENKEN]
MDR Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/06
Posts: 48
As always you guys really help to right size me. I'm also fearful because I just landed a great job as Community Outreach Worker. My job will be to educate the community on all facets of addiction, abuse and other disorders. Sorry, I got the job from the trauma center that I attended. They were very impressed with the work that I did around dealing with my sexual abuse and how I managed to stay sober when I broke down almost two years ago. AA deals with alcohol and how to stay sober. Even though I was sober I was still dying on the inside because I couldn't talk about what happened to me with anyone. Finally, I couldn't take it and I went insane.

Sorry to get off topic, but to me, this job is very important because I'll be able to educate the community on what PTSD is and what signs to look for when kids are being abused and what the facility does to help people.

My thoughts are scattered today, sorry guys. Just really nervous about the job, but I'm excited.

Running away affords me the chance to start over and make pretend things are okay. Its like I can start a new life and be somebody different. I know running away is not the right thing, so I'll keep dealing with things head on. It has to get better. The only way is to deal with it.


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