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#210574 - 03/13/08 10:02 PM sleeping with lights on
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
So, although i'm up later than the ideal time right now, i haven't been having bad dreams for the past couple of nights.

For me this has been real progress, and must be a function of my acceptance of things.

There is one thing that sits out of place about this though. I don't think i've been doing it on purpose, but for the past couple of nights (whilst my sleep has been good) i've been leaving the light on.

Now i'm afraid to turn it off!
in case my night is ruined again

so i will turn it off tonight, to test, but the fact that i'm worrying about it may end up giving me a false negative (bad dreams because i'm trying to avoid them)

i am pretty hesitant to go to sleep now (very hesitant actually)

i'm just sitting here, typing away, telling myself that i havent quite finished this message (because i don't want to go to sleep), but the fact is i finished this message a couple of lines up but look, i'm still writing.

i know i've been avoiding chat lately but due to the times that people are in chat (time zones) i think it has been upsetting my consistency somewhat (although i know its 2am right now and i should be sleeping!)

it's a work in progress, i cant do much more than that i guess, bit by bit

anybody have a thing with sleeping with the lights on?

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#210577 - 03/13/08 10:44 PM Re: sleeping with lights on [Re: king tut]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Lewis,

Hey bro, you are trying to recover from one of the worst things that can ever happen to a boy, and you are doing this at a young age. That's already an amazing feat of courage. If for a time you need some light in the room to feel safe at night, so be it. Go for it! It's okay.

Just so you know, by the way, I am staying at my sister's place in PA for the next two weeks, and of course it's a strange house for me, even though I know it very well. My sister has a small hall light on for me, there's a night light in my room, and as always when I travel, I have Bongo, my stuffed dog, with me. And guess what? I sleep just fine at night and that's what's important. Later on I will worry about the light. For now I am taking care of me. Go ahead and do the same. ;\)

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#210579 - 03/13/08 10:55 PM Re: sleeping with lights on [Re: roadrunner]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
KT,
I agree with Larry. If you can sleep and get a good nights sleep leave the feakin light on. Who cares. It is important for you to get your rest. Fully rested and alert you will be in better shape to deal with life and with other issues. Think about it and know that you are taking care of you and no matter what others (or you) may think of what your doing to feel safe, you do it. I sometimes take my teddy bear to T if I think it is going to be a tough session. I took him with me to Oregon and slept with him. (s'ok wife is not jealous). I didn't care what the maid thought that made by bed each morning. I slept great.

Sweet dreams Lewis.


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#210674 - 03/14/08 12:51 PM Re: sleeping with lights on [Re: Freedom49]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2465
Loc: UK
thanks for the responses Larry and Roger,

i wish i had seen the responses before i went to sleep last night (with the light off), i found myself lying there desperately trying to revive some solid belief in God to try to make things easier after squirming about for hours and feeling like i was a little kid again

i'll keep the light on from now on!

i had a little meeting about my future today (didn't realise we were having them) in university with my tutor and she made me feel more confident about the way i should continue with my education and said i shouldn't try to change the way i am to fit in with the way other people think about some of the concepts and that it is good that i get excited about some of the things and that i shouldn't stop my imagination from adding to my work. And she seems to understand me, the way i like to know every step of the equations and don't like to just assume things. I kept making her laugh so i don't know if that's a good thing or not. She thinks i will really enjoy the project years of my course so now i'm believing her enthusiasm about that and am looking forward to it. I let her know that i had a bit of a down week in my work last week and she says it's ok because everyone does but there are somethings i have to push to improve on and she's probably a little disappointed with me really. I've got a test on Monday and she says it will be interesting to see how i do, it is not the kind of test you revise for, it is on everything we have ever done in the whole of our education basically, it's more to do with recognising concepts rather than doing complicated maths.

Anyway, sleep is clearly important and if i have to have the light on then i will have the light on.

thanks

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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