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#210610 - 03/14/08 04:06 AM hurting inside
hector1 Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/08/08
Posts: 2
I can't let go of the past. It grips me everyday. I act everyday to keep to keep a sense of normalcy in my life. Everyone thinks everything is great, but inside my mind I'm a hurt little boy who can't escape the abuse. It plays over and over again. How do I stop the pain?


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#210619 - 03/14/08 06:37 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: hector1]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
hector--------------------i dont have all of the answers---------------------comming here is a great start------------------hoping you find peace in your life----------steve


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#210640 - 03/14/08 08:47 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: sabata]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Hector,
The past is wanting some attention. There are things that need to be dealt with so that you can move on. Are you seeing someone professionally? A therapist? Someone who specializes in this kind of thing would be of great help to you. I know it is to me as I am having some of the same problems. Glad you here buddy. This is a good place to start. You will be ok.


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#210649 - 03/14/08 10:05 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: Freedom49]
quixote Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/14/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Texas
dealt with ???


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#210650 - 03/14/08 10:10 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: quixote]
quixote Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/14/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Texas
until 1997 i was Meat; then, but then, i began to wake-up. i realized my body had no value to me.
i realize if i kept putting it out to the trash i would die.
that was the good news. the bad news it would take a very long time and i could take people, people i tried to love, hoped to love, thought i loved with me.

is there a place to start today. i'm just discovered the or a source of my pain about 21hrs ago.


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#210653 - 03/14/08 10:14 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: quixote]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
Hi, hector, and welcome.

You're not alone. The feelings you've expressed are one's I can totally relate to -- as can most of us here. That's why many of us have childhood pictures of ourselves as our avatars. Most of us have suffered trauma in our childhood that prevented us from having a normal childhood -- that prevented us from being able to be children, and so inside we never really grew up. I can totally relate to your frustration of putting on an outward show so others think everything is OK while inside your're hurting.

You've been given a lot of great suggestions already. I'd just say that talking to other people who can relate to your feelings is a great start, and this site is perfect place to begin.

Dan

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#210658 - 03/14/08 10:24 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: quixote]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
"Dealt with..."

as opposed to ignoring, surpressing, or acting as if it never happened.


Hector,

Welcome to MS, you have taken the first steps in dealing with the past. I am sorry for your pain, but you will meet a lot of guys here who will allow you to express it and they do understand how it feels.

I agree with Roger, I think you will also need to seek out a Therapist. (aka T) It is a long journey to healing, and you need as much help and support along the way as you can get.

Wishing you luck,
Carl

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#210801 - 03/15/08 01:59 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: Scoutvictim]
G5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 203
Loc: New Jersey
Hector,

I feel for you and share the sentiments of the others above. You've come to the right place. You are reaching out and that is a start. This is a difficult process and seeking professional help is highly recommended. I've been in therapy about half of my life, and I (and others) couldn't have gotten to where I am (we are) without this type of help. Some of your feelings can be, and will be, validated by reading the posts here.
It's a tough but worthwhile road with many here at this site that will support you on your journey. I wish you the best.

Chris

_________________________
WoR Kirkridge '08
WoR Alta Advanced '09
International Conference '10, '12
Oprah 200
PA Support Group
WoR Alta Advanced '12
"Silence Buster"

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#210812 - 03/15/08 08:55 AM Re: hurting inside [Re: hector1]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Welcome Hector,
Keeping quiet left me in ruin for 25 years. I would build a seemingly normal life and then destroy it through alcohol, and drug abuse. I didn't deal with my depression and self medicated for years. In reality the abuse was the cause and chose to ignore it.
I felt like nobody would believe me anyway. Then committed myself to a life of misery.

You have taken the first steps in the recovery process. The best way to stop the pain is to face it and plow through it like a bull on a rampage. You have a right to be angry, sad, feel betrayed, isolated, but you don't have to feel ashamed, guilty, fearful. Many of this we all share I have read it over and over again. If you don't have a Therapist you might want to find one that deals with child sexual abuse. At the least keep reading here and post whatever comes to mind, getting out of your head is a good start.

If your confused and want to learn more about what you are going through, I found the following site to be very helpful in understanding what happened to me
http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/chldhood.html

I wish you well on your journey of recovery!



Edited by GateKPR4 (03/15/08 08:59 AM)
_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#210828 - 03/15/08 10:21 AM Re: hurting inside *DELETED* [Re: hector1]
awakening Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/08
Posts: 342
Post deleted by awakening


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