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#206905 - 02/23/08 07:24 AM german smarts
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
I want...

I want you to trust me
I want you to believe me
I want to feel your eyes
I want to control every heartbeat

I want to hear your voices
I want to disturb the peace
I want you to see me well
I want you to understand me

I want your fantasy
I want your energy
I want to see your hands
I want to go down in applause

Do you see me?
Do you understand me?
Do you feel me?
Do you hear me?
Can you hear me?
We hear you
Can you see me?
We see you
Can you feel me?
We feel you
I don't understand you

I want...

We want you to trust us
We want you to believe everything from us
We want to see your hands
We want to go down in applause - yeah

Can you hear me?
We hear you
Can you see me?
We see you
Can you feel me?
We feel you
I don't understand you

Can you hear us?
We hear you
Can you see us?
We see you
Can you feel us?
We feel you
We don't understand you

I want...


_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#206906 - 02/23/08 07:28 AM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
Whoever knows pain becomes criticized
from the fire that burned up the skin
I throw a light in my face
a hot cry
open fire!

Bang bang

Whoever knows pain is raised
from the fire that burns in desire
a hard thrust (that gives off sparks) into her womb
a hot cry
open fire!

Bang bang
open fire!

Whoever knows pain is dangerous
from the fire that burns the soul
bang bang
the burned child is dangerous
with fire that separates from the life
a hot cry
bang bang
open fire!

Your happiness
is not my happiness
it is my misery

Bang bang
open fire!


_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#206986 - 02/23/08 04:45 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
On a bridge, quite high
A man holds his arms open
There he stands and still hesitates
Right away the people swarm in droves
I won't miss out on it either
I want to see it up close
I get into the first row
And scream

The man wants to climb from the bridge
The people begin to hate
They form a dense crowd
And don't want to let him down
So he climbs back up
And the mob begins to rage
They want his innards
And scream

Jump
Redeem me
Jump
Don't disappoint me
Jump for me
Jump into the light
Jump

Now the man begins to cry
A cloud moves in secret
Asking himself what have I done
in front of the sun, it gets cold
I just wanted to see the view
the people break ranks
and look into the evening sky
And they scream

Jump

They scream
Jump
Redeem me
Jump
Don't disappoint me
Jump for me
Jump into the light
Jump

A cloud moves in secret
in front of the sun, it gets cold
But a thousand suns burn just for you
I creep onto the bridge in secret
and kick him in the back from behind
I redeem him from this shame
and I scream to him

Jump

Jump
Redeem yourself
Jump
Don't disappoint me
Jump for me
Jump
Don't disappoint me

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#207607 - 02/26/08 08:17 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
They tell me
unlock this door
curiosity becomes a scream
what could be behind it
behind this door
sits a guitar
it is dusty
the strings are out of tune
behind this door
he sits with the guitar
but he doesnt want to play anymore

There as he sat
I listened to him
and when his performance began
I held my breath

He said to me
I'll always stay with you
and it seemed
that he played for me alone
I poured his blood
into the fire of my rage
I locked the door
they asked for him

There, I stood
I listened to him
and when the performance began
I held my breath
There,
I stood beside him
it seemed
he played for me alone

The door is open
oh, how they scream
I hear mother yelling
father is beating me
they take him from the life he knows
and no one believes me here
that I am deathly ill
from sorrow and pain

There, as he sat
I listened to him
and when his performance began
I held my breath
There, on the stage
he listened to me
and when my performance began
he held his breath for me

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#207831 - 02/27/08 08:21 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it

I don't feel like not hating myself
Don't feel like touching myself
Don't feel like trying it
I would feel like getting undressed
Don't feel like seeing myself naked

Don't feel like risking it
Don't feel like going from the snow
Don't feel like freezing

I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
No I don't feel like it

I don't feel like chewing anything
because I don't feel like digesting it
Don't feel like weighing myself
Don't feel like seeing the fat

Don't feel like risking it
Don't feel like going from the snow
Don't feel like freezing
I'll just keep lying here
and I'll count the flies again
I listlessly touch myself
and notice I've been still for a long time already
So frigid, I'm cold . . .

I don't feel like it

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#207842 - 02/27/08 09:07 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Nicky,

I like all of these, but especially the next to last one. I hope being able to write like this helps you to cope with the pain. Sometimes prose just can't hit the way we feel.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#207952 - 02/28/08 06:03 PM Re: german smarts [Re: roadrunner]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
I need time
Don't need heroin or alcohol or nicotine
I don't need help
Nor caffeine
what I need is gasoline

I don't need a friend
dont need cocaine
I dont need a doctor or medicine
I don't need anyone or anything
I just need gasoline

Give me gasoline

It flows throgh my veins
It sleeps in my tears
It leaks from my ears

If you want to part with something
then you have to burn it
If you never want to see it again
let it swim in gasoline

gasoline
give me gasoline

2005

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#208251 - 03/01/08 02:27 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
Tell me how far you want to go
do you want to see him on the floor
do you want him to kneel before you
do you want him to beg for mercy

Thoghts of vengence whipped from humilation
none of you see or hear anything
sick feelings
dont give him a chance
his rage does not want to die
does the thoght of his pain keep you alive

He can he wants and will never forgive
and you condemn his life to one of contstant surveylence
as he drifts in and out of sanity from
anger, destruction and vengeance,
you were born to hate him so now he must hate to

My rage does not want to die
my rage does not want to die
my rage will never die

you rammed your hatred into him
you have pursued hunted and cursed him
and he has fallen to his knees
crawling

My rage does not want to die
my rage does not want to die
my rage will never die

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#210342 - 03/12/08 06:50 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
come in my boat
a storm is rising
and it is becoming night

where should i go
so completely alone
now i am drifting away

Who will hold my hand
when it pulls
me under

Where do i want to go
so endless
the cold sea

Come in my boat
the gentle wind holds
the sails

Now i am standing at the wheel
with tears on my face
tears of relief
the daylight falls on the side
the wind sweeps the memories clear for a moment

Now i am standing by the lantern
i have tears on my face
tears of release
i have wanted this for so long
the evening light chases away the shadows
time stands still and it becomes beautful for a moment

come in my boat
so long i have wanted to be
the captain

come in my boat
finaly i am the best man at sea
or am i

now i am standing by the wheel
now i have the old tears on my face
now the bright spot is gone
time stands still

They only spoke of my father
because this life is so merciless
at the end i am left alone agian
time stands still
i know and remeber the truth
and i am cold agian

2003

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top
#210345 - 03/12/08 07:14 PM Re: german smarts [Re: nicky]
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
put that collar on me
then ill go down on my knees
and begin to bark
the pain has never been better

open the cage
bring me into the realm of stars

throw me back now and come hurt me slowly
put chains on me
and tie the knot tightly
so that you can laugh

Open the cage
bring me into the realm of stars

out where the stars have been
wheels of fire turn inside
passion rage and hatred
the pain is beautiful
is that what you were trying to create

a beautful insanity for all time

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




Top


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